Ugh, I’ve been a real pill the last little while. I’ve been trying to pin down why I’ve been in SUCH a bad mood and I’ve come up with a few things
1. Having to quit my job over the extreme conflict/mess it’s in, and the emotional hangover that’s given me
2. Having to quit my job and be back on the job hunt. Which is always such a depressing task
3. The exhaustion from working all the time
4. The lack of money back in my life and having to cancel my health coaching which I was so excited about
5. Its grey. Every day.
6. Lack of time to myself/alone time. Sometimes this apartment is too small.
There’s probably more but this could devolve pretty quickly into a pill of a post. Suffice to say that I’m not feeling like very much fun lately and mostly just want to hide in bed watching multiple episodes of Sons of Anarchy and wishing that I was in a biker gang or in southern cali. Either would do.
I don’t really have any good ideas of how to get over myself at the moment. But if I come up with any here’s hoping they involve getting my shit back together.
I’m supposed to be working on my thesis tonight. This is easier scheduled than done. I’m also supposed to be working on my facilitation contract. It’s hard to focus on work when I get home from work. I want ‘me time’, I feel like I worked hard all day and deserve some time off! I have a meeting with my adviser tomorrow though and I need to provide her with something. So after I’m done guiltily procrastinating while writing this post I’ll get to it.
Getting a handle on my procrastination is on my health coaching to do list in case you were wondering.
/// photo belongs to simply breakfast. Its the blog masthead actually. you know the drill. Click the photo to be taken to the site ///
Right now I’m scanning 2 cooking blogs, which have me SUPER excited about cooking and meals. simply breakfast is by a photographer who shoots her breakfast every morning and has provided me with breakfast excitement unlike any I think I’ve never felt in my life. Despite my deep dying love for brunch, I don’t much like breakfast. I hate waking up and I hate eating when I’m sleepy. Sometimes my throat/stomach gets all extreme about it and I gag when I try and force it. Most of the time I just don’t wake up hungry, which is probably significant of something. This blog is kinda making me want to change my mind….
/// photo is of the author/blogger of sprouted kitchen’s new book. I haven’t done enough/any of the recipes from it yet so I can’t recommend it but the blog looks excellent and makes me what to make everything. Also photo -> click -> sprouted kitchen ///
The other food related blog is sprouted kitchen. It has some really simple and really amazing recipes on it. Ones that make my body be all like, “yes please!” and me be like, “I could probably make that”. ONE day I will have kitchen appliances that enable me to make all things, but for now as long as I can chop it fine enough with a knife (no food processor) or it calls for the type of kneading that ends before my shoulders want to die (no mixer) I’m down. But just you wait other recipes. Just. You. Wait.
What else?
Oh! I am completely obsessed with this new share I came across. Portland Apothecary
/// photo from Portland Apothecary’s site for the Winter Share, I hear there’s a few left. Click to be taken there ///
check out the list of things from the Winter Share (click above photo to go there)
+Herbal Chai with Astragalus, Burdock, Dandelion & Echinacea
+Sore Throat Spray
+Digestive Bitters
+Breathe Easy Chest Balm
+Tincture for Alleviating Seasonal Depression
+Remedy for Easing Family Visits, Work Parties, Etc
+Sea Soap
+Warming Bath Salts
+Herbal Gamasio (Nori, Black Sesame Seeds, Milk Thistle)
I mean seriously. I want it all. The shares are $120/each and come out once a season. This is just the second share they’ve ever done (the Fall Share was just sent out a couple weeks ago) so the orders are limited to 50 this go around. I desperately want one, I’m such a herbalism nerd but whatever its good for my health. I don’t know how/if this will get across the border though so I’m hesitant to order it (also the lack of $120 makes me hesitate too!). This hesitation might make me too late for this next share but I’m still gonna pine for it.
Aside: is that how you spell pine? Like pine tree? that doesn’t look right to me….
I have some style related tabs open too, which are mostly me pinning a lot of asos stuff in burgendy, forest green and navy. Most of it is sweaters, jackets and boots because its cold out today. I’m going to let that simmer a bit in my mind before I do another ‘style’ post that I feel so ambivalent about. I feel pretty vapid when I post about clothes, which is partially warranted and partially ridiculous (see how I did that? perfect Libra moment). But its honestly something I’ve been struggling with lately, I want to wear things that make me feel like me again, so up it will go. Also, with the exception of the crafts for fall post I did earlier this month, the style post has gotten the most hits of anything I’ve done recently. I think I have an idea of what the internet wants. And its not talking about myself. Not that I’m writing this for other people, but I do get a little thrill when I see that people have been reading.
So its 10:30pm. And now I just want to make this salad from sprouted kitchen (fresh veggies!) and read my new canning book. Instead I’m going to force myself to work so that I’m not all panicky tomorrow in front of my adviser.
Oh MAN I’m tired. Mars is really really sick and I went to bed late, then he woke me up in the night, then I couldn’t get back to sleep, then I had to get up early and work late. Snoooooze. Its 10:30 but it feels like 3am. Working sucks for that.
The main thing that I’m happy for today I have to keep quiet about for the moment because I don’t know how it will turn out and I don’t want to put it out into the internet universe yet.
Instead I’ll say that I’m happy for my health coaching session I had with Sara Seinburg. It was her 1 year anniversary of her practice last month and she was giving away free sessions. I had one yesterday and it was really nice, and kind of emotional. I’m not sure why talking about myself honestly makes me feel teary but it does. Basically what Sara does is work through blocks identified by people from a physical health/nutrition perspective but also a mental health/nutrition perspective. I was really into in and really scared by it. I told her that I wanted to sign up with her but today I’m not so sure. I guess deciding to be accountable for making real change in my life is scary. I’m still not convinced I’m ready, AND I’m not convinced I have the money but I want to explore it. My goal for my 30ies is to be nicer to my body and to myself and this seems like a reasonable place to start. So I’m happy about that no matter what direction it goes.
I’m also honestly happy for my long term friendship with my buddy Mood. He met me downtown and kept me company at my work outreach social that I was too tired to be really social for. I like that guy a lot, I’m happy we’re friends. I know that that’s really cheese-y but its the truth. Hanging out with him makes me happy.
This video also makes me happy. I suggest watching it. 350 million + other people have.
Stationary Drifting 