Stationary Drifting


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angers

Ugh, I’ve been a real pill the last little while. I’ve been trying to pin down why I’ve been in SUCH a bad mood and I’ve come up with a few things

1. Having to quit my job over the extreme conflict/mess it’s in, and the emotional hangover that’s given me

2. Having to quit my job and be back on the job hunt. Which is always such a depressing task

3. The exhaustion from working all the time

4. The lack of money back in my life and having to cancel my health coaching which I was so excited about

5. Its grey. Every day.

6. Lack of time to myself/alone time. Sometimes this apartment is too small.

There’s probably more but this could devolve pretty quickly into a pill of a post. Suffice to say that I’m not feeling like very much fun lately and mostly just want to hide in bed¬†watching multiple episodes of Sons of Anarchy and wishing that I was in a biker gang or in southern cali. Either would do.

I don’t really have any good ideas of how to get over myself at the moment. But if I come up with any here’s hoping they involve getting my shit back together.


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Small Things Project: Day 65 (oct 2)

Oh MAN I’m tired. Mars is really really sick and I went to bed late, then he woke me up in the night, then I couldn’t get back to sleep, then I had to get up early and work late. Snoooooze. Its 10:30 but it feels like 3am. Working sucks for that.

The main thing that I’m happy for today I have to keep quiet about for the moment because I don’t know how it will turn out and I don’t want to put it out into the internet universe yet.

Instead I’ll say that I’m happy for my health coaching session I had with Sara Seinburg. It was her 1 year anniversary of her practice last month and she was giving away free sessions. I had one yesterday and it was really nice, and kind of emotional. I’m not sure why talking about myself honestly makes me feel teary but it does. Basically what Sara does is work through blocks identified by people from a physical health/nutrition perspective but also a mental health/nutrition perspective. I was really into in and really scared by it. I told her that I wanted to sign up with her but today I’m not so sure. I guess deciding to be accountable for making real change in my life is scary. I’m still not convinced I’m ready, AND I’m not convinced I have the money but I want to explore it. My goal for my 30ies is to be nicer to my body and to myself and this seems like a reasonable place to start. So I’m happy about that no matter what direction it goes.

I’m also honestly happy for my long term friendship with my buddy Mood. He met me downtown and kept me company at my work outreach social that I was too tired to be really social for. I like that guy a lot, I’m happy we’re friends. I know that that’s really cheese-y but its the truth. Hanging out with him makes me happy.

This video also makes me happy. I suggest watching it. 350 million + other people have.