Stationary Drifting


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Whoa

Someone/some people have been googling the shit out of me lately. I have a tracker that comes with my academic social media page that sends me emails every time my name is googled and wordpress tells me how people get to my site. This week it was from people specifically looking for me/my blog. Which is rare, and exciting, and a little nerve wracking. Who are you people that are looking for me and going back through my old old archives? Welcome, and please don’t judge me.

This is something that I struggle with all the time about having a blog. I can’t remember if I ever wrote that post I meant to write about invading my own privacy and how I feel about exposing my thought to the www. It feels odd, and exciting, and definitely interesting. I haven’t looked at my blog in a solid 2 week and just came back to see a giant spike in readership. I love that, until I think about it too much. I wonder how other bloggers/people deal with having a web personality? I’ve definitely wondered how people that I don’t know feel about me reading their blogs. Suddenly I’m having concerns about not being deep enough in my blog…

All of this is to say that I’m happy you’re here. Don’t feel like I want you to stop reading but if you felt like leaving a little hello comment I would love to hear from you.

In other news I’m feeling a little less angry. I’ve fallen back into my old patterns of working and cooking and cleaning all the time (god M and I can be messy people). I’m busy with contracts and organizing. I’m trying to find time to work on my thesis and do some marking. I’ve done a little sewing (that I will post later) and a fair bit of baking experiments with mixed results. I miss the productivity of working full time but I don’t miss the total lack of personal time or seeing my partner or having any time to do anything. So if you were worried or whatever I’m feeling better fyi.

Gonna post this before my computer dies from lack of power at this coffee shop that doesn’t have outlets. Feeling blog-y again today so maybe I’ll post more tonight…

here’s a picture of me and my excitement about my growing hair, purple lipstick, and classic denim vest last weekend.

sorry for the shitty phone picture focus, quality & focus quality. Let’s be honest, its more convenient and my other digital camera isn’t much better

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angers

Ugh, I’ve been a real pill the last little while. I’ve been trying to pin down why I’ve been in SUCH a bad mood and I’ve come up with a few things

1. Having to quit my job over the extreme conflict/mess it’s in, and the emotional hangover that’s given me

2. Having to quit my job and be back on the job hunt. Which is always such a depressing task

3. The exhaustion from working all the time

4. The lack of money back in my life and having to cancel my health coaching which I was so excited about

5. Its grey. Every day.

6. Lack of time to myself/alone time. Sometimes this apartment is too small.

There’s probably more but this could devolve pretty quickly into a pill of a post. Suffice to say that I’m not feeling like very much fun lately and mostly just want to hide in bed watching multiple episodes of Sons of Anarchy and wishing that I was in a biker gang or in southern cali. Either would do.

I don’t really have any good ideas of how to get over myself at the moment. But if I come up with any here’s hoping they involve getting my shit back together.


4 simple goals: #3

Okay, its been a while since I posted about my simple goals and there are a lot of reasons for that. Not the least of which is that I haven’t had any real time to blog over the past while. I realized the other day that I am working 4 jobs at the moment AND trying to write my thesis. This means that I work a 40hr work week, and come home to work on at least 2 other jobs at night. For example, last Tuesday I worked from 10-6, came home and had a skype meeting for a facilitation contract I’m doing from 6:30-8pm, and then worked on my TA’ing stuff from 8-10pm. I didn’t even touch my thesis. Somewhere in there I’m trying to see M, maybe a couple of friends, call my family and do laundry and any number of other life things that need to happen. It doesn’t really allow for a lot of ‘me time’. Which I think is the thing I miss the most from my student life. Time to cook, check out the neighbourhood, do projects and crafts, listen to the radio, etc etc.

It also means that I haven’t been that good at keeping up with my goals.

Simple Goal #1 of eating more fresh plants has been going okay. I’ve been trying to consciously make sure that there is plant matter in my meals but the fresh stuff has been harder to keep on top of. Given the fact that I don’t really have time to grocery shop, or am too tired to grocery shop, I haven’t been as good about this as I could be. I’m going to try and redouble my efforts the rest of this month though and try to have some at least once a day and work up from there.

Simple Goal #2 has been kind of a flop. M and I spent a lot of time shopping last weekend with my little bit of birthday money and I found 1 cardigan and a cheap stretchy skirt. I like these 2 items a lot but given the amount of time, the number of stores I went into and the things I tried on, it was pretty dismal and I ended up spending my money on film, beads and food. The usual. I’m thinking I might foray into online shopping and see if that yields me better results. If anyone has experience in buying clothes online please send tips. I don’t really like the idea of buying things I can’t try on and am worried I’m going to spend a lot of time sending things back. But I like shops like ASOS, Ruche and Modcloth so hopefully I can find better things. The internet is an amazing place isn’t it?

So, with the so far rounding success moderate optimism of the first 2 goals. Here is SIMPLE GOAL #3: plan direction of stationary drifting

I’ve been really enjoying blogging since I moved over from tumblr earlier this year. I kind of prefer the static nature of an independent blog where I’m not so concerned about people reading, reblogging, networking, etc. Don’t get me wrong, tumblr can be really great for a lot of reasons. I’ve seen some amazing community building happen there but that wasn’t really what I was going for when I decided to start logging my life on the internet so here I am over here now.

I’ve gotten pretty into blogging since then, and into following other people’s blogs. I’ve been using the flipboard app on my ipad to keep track of all the ones I like to read on a daily basis (though I hear bloglovin’ is good too) and through following other people and a fair amount of nerding out on my part I’ve started trying to envision this blog as something more design friendly and aesthetically pleasing, on top of being my online personality. I’m not going to lie, I like the communities that I’ve seen happen through blogs, and (a little bit) the recognition from posting useful things. I certainly like watching my readership spike and grow. SO I’ve been thinking about buying my domain name and fooling around with graphics and making this place uniquely my own.

The reason this is on my goals list for fall is because partially its to remind me to put some attention towards this, and partially its to remind me to do little projects for myself for no other reason than because they make me happy. The blog itself is a project, the projects that happen on this blog are projects and the stuff I blog about are often projects too. Its a reminder to keep myself creative and in touch with myself. In that way, even just doing the small things project as often as I can has helped in keeping me grounded in thinking about the good things in my life and in having a small project to feel happy about. I think this might be the most successful goal I have so far and thank the universe for that.

So you can expect some geekiness around blogging, graphic design, programming and the internet to come out here over the next few months. I’ve been relying pretty heavily on the advice posted on a beautiful mess (also the ladies who inspired these goals). So yea, blogging. Gonna start doing more of that.