Stationary Drifting


spring cleanse

(warning: I am not a herbalist or a medical professional of any kind. I’m sharing my cleanse plan because I want to write about it, not because I know that it will be healthy for everyone. Please don’t take this as advice and if you plan on doing this or something like this make sure its okay for you.)

teas

Today is the day that I start my first ever cleanse!! Holy crap this is going to be hard. 2 weeks of a restricted diet, drinking tons of tea and being strong willed. NO CHOCOLATE! I’m still trying to decide if I’m going to drink coffee, I’m not allowed to have cow milk in it though. Deeeeeeep sigh.

I’m kind of constructing my own plan, not without advice though. I went to the see the herbalists at the health food place in the market (Alfalfa) and got a couple of teas, the Flor Essense herbal tea blend, dandelion root and ‘aubier de tilleul’ which translates to limewood (and might be the same as linden? unsure). Anyway, the herbalist recommended this in combination with eating lots of green veggies, avoiding processed foods, sugars, dairy and heavy meats (like red meat) for 2-3 weeks. Both of them said that they are doing this exact thing right now and also eating only green veggies for a week. Apparently spring is a really good time to do this kind of cleanse. I don’t know why exactly but it makes sense anyway.

I’ve also been doing some research online and am planning on having a restricted diet for the next 2 weeks. I’m not going to cut out a large amount of food, just particular types (dairy, wheat flour, junk food and sugars – but not fruits) for a while to give my body a little boost. I’ve been feeling pretty tired lately, and might be getting a cold from my crappy sleep pattern these days so I’m hoping this helps. This on top of my new workout schedule and quitting smoking, I have high hopes to be feeling good this spring.

Maybe I’ll blog about it in particular to see how it goes over time and share what’s going on. I’ve been planning this all week but didn’t start because I wanted to make sure my body wasn’t too stressed by my new workout lifestyle and lack of nicotine first, and I had to finish that pan of brownies I made for Corrie Sunday night! Can’t waste baked goods!

SO here is a bit of an outline of my plan.

– Herbal Teas (2-3 times daily)

Flor-Essence is taken in warm water 30mins before meals for 2-3 weeks

I’ve been doing a bunch of reading about this stuff before I start taking it, to make sure its safe and will do what they say it will do and also because I’m a herb nerd and like to know these things. Here’s what I know about it so far. Its a blend of a bunch of herbs that have an immuno-boosting & detoxifying effect. A lot of websites like it for a lot of reasons, including some traditional medicine ones because it is looking like it might be useful in fighting some forms of cancer, or at least treating it. Here is the information I got from a website called National Nutrition:

Burdock Root (Arctium lappa) contains inulin, flavonoids (including quercetin), lignans, tannins, volatile oils, vitamins and minerals. A strong antioxidant, it is also anti-inflammatory and immune-stimulating, and can reduce cell mutations while cleansing and strengthening. Antibacterial, antifungal and antiviral; increases lymph drainage. This burdock root is North American and certified organic.

Sheep Sorrel (Rumex acetosella) is an astringent, diuretic and laxative; it also oxygenates tissues and provides immune system support. All aerial parts are used as they contain several effective antioxidants including flavonoids, vitamins, minerals and trace elements. Sheep sorrel is a bile stimulant with phytoestrogenic and anti-inflammatory qualities. North American-grown and certified organic.

Slippery Elm (Ulmus rubra) is noted for soothing inflammatory irritation, especially of the digestive tract, due to its mucilage content. Alkalizes by balancing pH in the GI tract; also absorbs toxins from the bowel and reduces bowel transit time. Contains high concentrations of antioxidants including beta-sitosterol, beta-carotene and proanthocyanidins. Certified organic when available.

Watercress (Nasturtium officinale) is a heavy metal detoxifier, a rich source of chlorophyll for blood cleansing, and increases the flow of bile for improved digestion. Excellent protection against xenoestrogens and many hormone-related diseases, it contains indoles (also present in cruciferous vegetables), which deactivate excess estrogen and eliminate it from the body.

Red Clover (Trifolium pratense) is an antioxidant and blood purifier, and facilitates elimination of toxins through the skin, kidneys and colon. Shown to combat bacterial, viral and fungal infections, it has been used for lung, liver and digestive ailments. This legume contains isoflavones that help balance hormones and protect against xenoestrogens. The leaf and blossom are harvested from certified organic plants grown in North America.

Blessed Thistle (Cnicus benedictus) contains a bitter-tasting compound called ‘cnicin’, which increases the flow of gastric juices, thereby relieving indigestion and headaches associated with liver congestion. Blessed thistle is an anti-inflammatory and contains lignans that have proven antimicrobial activity. The flower top is harvested from plants grown in North America. Certified organic.

Kelp (Laminaria digitata) contains alginates, which soothe and cleanse the intestines, and help to neutralize heavy metals and radiation (including electromagnetic fields from TV’s, computers etc.) in the body. Kelp stimulates the immune system and supplies minerals including iodine for healthy thyroid function and metabolism, and to help control pre-cancerous breast lumps. Harvested near Iceland and certified organic.

Turkish Rhubarb root (Rheum palmatum) helps to safely normalize bowel movements, cleanse the liver and detoxify the colon. A safe and effective laxative, Turkish rhubarb also exhibits anti-inflammatory, antiseptic, antioxidant and antiviral activity. Increases the flow of saliva and gastric juices for improved digestion. Certified organic when available.

kidney, liver, digestion, blood, thyroid, metabolism, colon, intestines, skin, lung, bowel, lymph nodes, immune system, anti-inflammatory, antiseptic, antioxidant, antiviral, anti-fungal, anti-bacterial.

I can use all these things.

Dandelion root, 1/2 – 2 teaspoons, boiled in water for 5-10 mins, strained. 2-3 times per day for 2-3 weeks.

According to the University of Maryland Medical Centre dandelion root is rich in vitamins A, B, C & D, minerals like iron, potassium and zinc, is good for the liver, kidney, swelling, skin, heartburn, stomach upset, high blood pressure and digestion. Its a diuretic.

From the above website:

Traditionally, dandelion roots and leaves were used to treat liver problems. Native Americans also boiled dandelion in water and took it to treat kidney disease, swelling, skin problems, heartburn, and upset stomach. In traditional Chinese medicine, dandelion has been used to treat stomach problems, appendicitis, and breast problems, such as inflammation or lack of milk flow. In Europe, it was used in remedies for fever, boils, eye problems, diabetes, and diarrhea.

Linden/sapwood of lime tree, 1/2 – 2 teaspoons, boiled and strained, 2-3 times per day for 2-3 weeks.

This one was a little harder to look up because I only had the french name for it. It translates to sapwood of lime tree, which some places say is another name for linden (sapwood not flowers). From what I can figure out this is good for calming anxiety, promoting relaxation and calmness, sleep aid, liver, gallbladder, soothing an upset stomach, fighting infection, promotes blood flow, and boosting immune system.  (from WebMD & Livestrong Foundation)

I was told the I could take the dandelion root and linden together or separately but in total I should have having some combination of those teas 3 times per day. Not 2-3 times each.

– Food Plan

The herbalist told me to avoid processed foods, dairy, heavy meats, sugar and fat; and eat a lot of green veggies. Which all make sense to me. I’ve been reading up about other cleanses online though, particularly the wild rose cleanse which I’ve heard good things about and I’m going to add this.

Avoid:

  • processed foods
  • wheat flour (gluten)
  • dairy (except butter – I don’t know why butter is okay but I’ll take it)
  • tropical fruits (apparently they have a lot of allergens that the body can react to in the absence of all these other things)
  • alcohol
  • sugar

Eat:

  • lots of green veggies
  • soups and broths
  • beans, nuts and grains
  • almonds, fruit, millet, buckwheat, and brown rice
  • neutral foods like most veggies

So here it goes! Crossing my fingers that I won’t have too many side effects and am able to keep it up. If anyone has cleanse strategies they would like to share I’d love to hear them. Including how to motivate yourself to stay at it, what you ate or didn’t eat, recipes, how to deal with side effects. I’m curious to be testing this out and how my body will react!


52 Themes: Macro

Week 3: Macro

So its not exactly the 3rd week by the gregorian calendar but it is the 3rd week of this project. Both Jared and I got a bit distracted by other things going on in our lives. Apparently he had been writing his first feature length film! I, less excitingly, have been working on my thesis. We’ve been emailing each other back and forth a couple of times a week, apologizing for not having kept up our end of the bargain and promising to finish soon. Finally, here are my photos from the newest theme, I imagine Jared’s will also be up soon.

This week was Jared’s choice: Macro. Neither of us have macro lenses, and so we were relying on the digital macro functions on our cameras. They aren’t as good as macro done with a real lens but they do pretty good for what they are. I, personally, love taking macro photos. I love the close up view of the photo’s subject and what that reveals. I like the different perspective on every day things and how something as simple as snow melting on a jacket can turn into a really interesting picture. Macro can show what something is really made of, and it can also render something totally unrecognizable. It forces me to get up close and personal with the thing I’m photographing. I was really excited about the theme this week.

I played around a bit with a close focus on a mundane object so that I could blur out the background. I really like that effect and how it changes the way I look at the bigger picture, like how the packing tape on the pole illuminates the sky and the apartment building behind,  how the paper crane makes me want to look at my kitchen, and the close up of the flower buds makes me see all the other buds coming to life. I also did some traditional macro by getting up close to something and trying to capture its details, I started with some flowers growing along the edge of a building (a sign of spring!) but got really excited about getting up close to a discarded apple core and trying to capture the dirt and wrinkles. I think my favourite from this theme was the reflection of me taking the picture of the bolt covers in the closest cover while the rows of the other covers go up in the background. I really like the perspective that happens in that photo.

Anyway, here is my submission for the 3rd week of 52 Themes. I’m still not feeling like I’m really stretching my photography skill and maybe for the next one I will go out on a photographic adventure to capture what I want from this. In the meantime I just like the fact that I’m carrying my camera with me everywhere and how it forces me to look at my everyday surroundings differently.


Knitting: Lace Shawl

Lace attempt #2!

I used the Haruni Shawl Pattern off Ravelry. I used Berroco Ultra Alpaca Fine wool in an off white colour (as you can see below), which I think is a fingering weight. I’m bad and wool weights…

close of the final shawl

The first was for Corrie, a much belated birthday present this fall, I really loved knitting her’s so I decided to give it another go and make one from my mom for xmas. That didn’t really work out because my brother went and got married by surprise. I didn’t have the time to knit it that I was planning over the holidays. So I gave my mom the wool and pattern in a box and promised to knit it for her this winter. Which is what I did. It was ready to send to her for her birthday. Two birds, one stone.

I loved knitting it, it was so complicated and therefore kept my interest. Occasionally I was annoyed that I had to pay such close attention to the pattern and couldn’t just relax into the rhythm of knitting. As it got bigger though and I got used to the pattern that part got easier. As far as I’m aware I only made one mistake (mistakes are super visible in lace I learned), it wasn’t that bad and is hard to find in the pattern anyway (thankfully). I would say this pattern is easy as long as you have experience knitting and know how to knit stitches together, etc. I’m really happy with it, I was almost sad to send it away!

knitting away at it one night

It knit up surprisingly fast for such small needles and wool. I didn’t work at it constantly but I would say it was done in under a month. I highly suggest using a row counter, I would have been totally lost if I hadn’t.

shawl leaf pattern pre blocking

 

 

shawl leaf pattern pre blocking

It was pretty small before I blocked it. I would have been worried if I hadn’t tried this before. Luckily the beauty of lace is that it is supposed to be stretched way out so its possible to see the gaps and therefore look more like lace.

pre blocked whole shawl

Generally I block on my couch. The back is big enough to stretch a shawl out on, its made of a nylon material so it doesn’t absorb a lot of moisture, and my house is small so I’m using a relatively small amount of space. I also haven’t knitted enough lace in my life to justify investing in fancier blocking equipment. I just wet down the wool, squeeze (not wring) it out, and stretch it along the back of the couch using regular knitting pins to hold it. It can be time consuming because I have to put a lot of pins in to hold it but I just put on a podcast and go to work. I like walking by it as it dries and admiring the pattern.

I generally block on my couch. Apologies for the fuzzy photo, its dark in my living room

The shawl blocked out pretty big. It goes from my shoulders to almost my butt at the bottom point. I think it will be perfect for my mom for spring to wear with her spring/summer dresses. It gets cool in Calgary at night, even in the summer, so its always nice to have something to wrap around you.

the shawl from my shoulders to butt. I think it looks awesome with my leather jacket by the way. Also why does the bottom of my hair and neck look so weird in this picture?

 

 

 

 


April is for resolutions

January is not a good month for resolutions. I feel like the world is ending in January. Its so dark and cold and all I want to do is curl up under the blankets, watch a movie and eat baked goods. Basically winter is like one long pms cycle for me. The beginning of January is the last possible time I ever want to do anything active or motivate myself to do stuff I really really don’t want to do. Besides, everyone knows that the new year starts Sept 1 with the start of a new school semester. I don’t care how long you’ve been out of school, the beginning of fall is when its time to start the calendar over again.

A great time for resolutions is the beginning of spring though. When the snow finally leaves, the air starts to get warmer, hope and enjoyment of life returns, and I have all sorts of new energy. Its the time of the year that I want to clean out all my cupboards and drawers, air out the house and start planting a garden. This is the time of year that I want to make life changes, to make resolutions and really feel like I have a chance of keeping them.

So that said, here are my new season life plans:

1. Be Healthier

This one is a 3 part-er some more immediate term and some longer term, as all get healthy plans are.

– Join a gym

Marseau bought a damn scale this week and now I know how much I weigh. I hate knowing how much I weigh, it makes me so self conscious about my weight. I know that I’ve been gaining weight as I get older (I am constantly reminded of this fact whenever I go home ~ why do people insist on commenting on other people’s weight by the way?). I’m trying to learn to be okay with this fact, and okay with not being the skinny ideal in general. My height, frame, genetics, love of good foods all keep me from looking like a supermodel. I have accepted that and frankly sometimes I think that models kinda look unhealthily skinny. Trying not to comment or judge other peoples’ weight either here. The truth is that ever since I stopped biking because I was too scared/in pain after my accident I haven’t really been getting any exercise. Even if climbing the stairs to my 3rd floor apartment with a load of groceries feels that way. I found a gym that’s 3 blocks away from me that has pilates, and I like pilates (waaaaaaay more than yoga, but that’s a different story), it also has spinning and I don’t know if I like spinning but I want to like it. It has a steam room and a regular gym part (that I’m less excited about) I think that if I like some of the classes I would go frequently and start feeling like I’m getting some exercise and get energy from that. My goal is to get healthy enough to join a boxing gym, I really want to learn how to fight. In the meantime though I just want to drop some weight and feel healthier. I don’t have any particular goal weight and I’m not going to diet/deprive myself. I just want to feel better in general.

Which leads me to my second point:

– Quit smoking

I’ve been a smoker for a long time now, and I’ve been quitting smoking about as long as I have been a smoker. I’ve never been particularly successful at it, in that I don’t think I ever have truly stopped. But its my goal to not smoke anymore by the time I’m 30. This gives me 6months of quitting, possible relapses and learning to be able to see people smoke or go to parties without wanting to smoke myself. Even more difficult will be watching Marseau smoke in front of me and not want one myself too. So, as of today I have a rule that I’m not going to smoke before 6pm. No more daytime smoking. Once that becomes easier I want to go down to no more than one smoke a day. My mid-term goal is to only smoke when I’m drinking by the end of April. Long term is to stop once and for all in 6months. I’ve never felt like I was exactly addicted to smoking, I mean I can stop for days or weeks without feeling shitty or getting cranky. I never have felt like I NEED a smoke. Its just very much a habit for me. Waiting for the bus, after eating a big meal, feeling socially awkward, needing to go outside for a bit, social times with smoker friends, writing a paper or grading and needing a short break, are all reasons to smoke for me. Its been the time filler or self care or stress reliever for me for going on…..8 years now. I can’t believe its been that long! I want to have pink lungs again (or whatever colour they are supposed to be). Plus smoking weakens my immune system and I don’t need more ways to be able to get sick.

Finally:

– Do a cleanse

I’ve never done one of these before. I used to be really disdainful of cleanses (quelle surprise, me being disdainful), maybe its because the people I knew who did cleanses just stopped eating and drank a lot of chili, maple syrup and lemon juice mixes. That always seemed (and still seems) ridiculous to me, and I don’t get how that can be healthy at all. I do get how going back to basics and cleaning out my body make sense though, and I like the kinds of cleanses that people I know now do, which include cutting out a lot of food things that are rough on the system, letting my body relax a bit and slowly reintroducing more complex foods one by one. I’m all into herbs and alt health care so this seems like less of a crazy thing to do than it did year ago. Even if this is the shortest term ‘get healthy’ goal of mine, I think it might be the hardest. Particularly not drinking coffee but also I’m bad at monitoring my food. It will be a good exercise in self-discipline. Which I really need because, life plan #2 is going to require a lot of it.

2. Finish my thesis

This shit is for real. I’ve been letting this large and scary amount of work paralyze me into inaction for way too long (just ask Marseau and my mom ~ the 2 most invested in me finishing). I sit in front of my computer every day and just look at it, and then I get up and tell myself that I need to get groceries, do the dishes, make dinner, finish someone’s bday present, whatever seems more manageable and less terrifying at the moment. The problem is that even if I’m not sitting here looking at it, its looking at me, from inside my head. I wake up early in the morning thinking about it, I feel guilty as soon as I wake up, and every time a friend asks me to do something my brain says that I can’t I should be working. Most people’s reaction to this kind of thing would be to just do it. My response is to ask first if you’ve ever written an academic book that you feel totally unprepared and unqualified to write and then when you do finally finish it you must sit in front of a panel of experts while they tear it apart? Sounds like a stress nightmare to me but its actually my life. Many of you may answer yes to that question, and kudos to you but this shit terrifies me. Which is not to say that I’m not going to do it. I am. Starting today I’m going to work at this like its my job, which of course, it is.

I should probably write something about getting a job and saving money, or being better about calling my family, or sleeping but I already feel like I’ve got a lot down there. The road to self-discipline can’t all be traveled in one day right? I don’t know, probably not, maybe I’ll look into it tomorrow or something….

 


Small Things Project: Days 28 to 33

Day 28: (March 13)

some of the toppings

Today I am happy for long conversations with important people in my life. For breakfast with Corrie where we let our words carry us around ideas, dreams, thoughts and plans. For skyping with Jared, who always makes me laugh, whose perspective on the big picture is sibling close, who reminds me of the millions of fascinating things there are to do in the world. For Marseau who reminds me that there is still millions of things we can learn about each other, and how exciting that is, for his infinite interest in what I have to say and his ability to capture my attention forever.

I’m happy for the stay at home date M and I had tonight. Where we made pizza from (almost) scratch, drank a bottle of wine, and I baked a new thing. Peanut chocolate bars that we didn’t eat because we were too full. I loved that M wanted to cut me every new piece and season it perfectly for me, and I wanted to bake him sweet things and tell him sweet things.

I’m excited about Jared’s pictures from 52 Themes this week. They were way better than mine and made me laugh a bunch. It’s given me motivation to think out this week’s theme more intentionally and have some I’m really excited about for my post next Monday.

day 29: (march 14)

Today I’m happy for dinner and long, complicated conversations with friends that I really get and who really get me. I’m happy for the ways in which we challenge each other to push our understandings and how we do that with love.

I’m happy for a quiet night with the bed to myself and I’m happy that M will be coming home to get into bed with me later, when he’s done his night out.

I’m happy for starting to make concrete marriage plans after months of keeping it quiet and not knowing if we’ll be able to afford it.

Today I’m happy for very big news! Marseau and I are finally able to announce the news that we’re getting married!!!

Day 30: (march 16)

Today I’m happy for soul food night and a new full sized fridge! No more bar fridge whoooo!

Day 31: (march 17)

Today I’m happy for the spring air coming through my open windows. I’m happy to the late sun now that daylight savings has passed.

fading tulips mean spring is here

Day 32: (march 19)

Sun! Tshirts! Open windows! Warm breeze! Spring has come very early this year and though I never want to encourage global warming I can’t say I’m sad about it. I got to wander the market in a tshirt, picking up fresh food for our new fridge. Then I’m heading home to throw open the windows, dream about gardening, and do some cooking. Can’t get much more happy than that.

Day 33: (march 21)

I made the most awesome present for Felicia to celebrate her 30th birthday last night and so I’m spending the day being excited to give it to her. I also finished my mom’s shawl and blocked it yesterday in time to sent it for her birthday. It’s blocked to my couch right now and I’m loving checking it out in all it’s lacey glory whenever I walk by.

I’m happy that the warm weather is continuing (26 Celsius!) and I can air out the apartment after long winter months.

market ice cream and shorts. Different kind of march


52 Themes: Waiting

Week 2!

This week was my choice in theme. I picked ‘waiting’ because I was waiting every day for spring to finally show up. I had all sorts of plans for what I was going to take pictures of this week but none of them really ended up happening. So instead you get a variety of shots I took when I remembered to take them. They are loosely based around the idea of waiting, or later rationalized as fitting into the idea of waiting.

I only have 8 this week because I would rather put up 8 good ones than have a couple of (extra) random ones just to make the 10 mark. What can I say, I wasn’t really committed to the project this week. Not that I ignored it, just that I had a busy week and didn’t get a chance to set aside a day or an afternoon to focus on taking pictures.

That said, I’m happy with the ones I have. They aren’t all stellar but I really like the one with the green church. I have been playing with the white balance function on my camera. Not just for balancing the picture in the moment, but also using an old white balance on a new shot, I’ve been finding its adding interesting colour washes to pictures. I also like the close up of my drink, I’m still very into macro photography. I like the ways views that it gives on regular objects. In the glass picture I like the up close focus on the sugar. I like the shots of M because my boyfriend is really cute/hot, I think the pictures themselves are good but the subject is really fun to photograph.

Remember that this is not just my project, Jared will be putting up a bunch of photos on the same theme over on his site. Make sure to check them out.

UPDATE: Ha! Jared killed it this week with his series of his cat Yeltsin and a stuffed deer taking turns waiting for things. I laughed out loud at each shot as I scrolled down. He took the shots with his polaroid and scanned them so they have a nice yellow tone and interesting sharpness. My favourite is the one of Yeltsin picking up his dinner can. Not just for the cuteness but also for the framing, the light on the floor and the colour. Bar raised brother. I’m going to have to think up something good for this next round…week 3 is Jared’s choice. Check back on or around Monday.

 

waiting for M to wake up

waiting (patiently) in line

waiting for the light to change

waiting = time

waiting for my turn

waiting for our food

cherry waiting

waiting to get his picture taken


Small Things Project: Day 22 through 27

Day 22: (Feb 28)

Today I am happy for a reason to wake up early. Most days I feel like it doesn’t matter what time I get up to anyone but me. But today I had work to do in the morning before some school meetings. I feel a helluva lot better when I get up and out of bed at a reasonable time. I managed to make coffee, a delicious smoothie and bake bread on top of getting some work done. How’s that for productive? Eat that winter blues.

I’m also happy that I have a thesis related meeting today. I’ve been feeling bad about how little I’ve been getting done on it recently, what with my natural procrastination, TA’ing and the work contract I had. Its good to feel like I’m getting it back in motion.

I’m happy that its sunny out and the snow is melting again.

I’m excited to work on this photo project that Jared and I have, 52 Themes. I will be posting our new week’s worth of photos every Monday.

I’m excited that people are still reading the blog! I check the stats so much and it makes me really happy. Thanks anonymous people!

Day23: (feb 29)

Happy leap day!

I’m happy today that I’m continuing my trend of getting up early and that I managed to get so much done this morning. I’m pushing through the winter blues that make me want to stay in bed forever and forcing myself out of it in order to be productive. Painful tax related call, out of the way, possible fridge purchase on the horizon. I cannot wait to have a full sized fridge again. 8 months with a bar sized fridge isn’t fun, even if I pretend that trying to put groceries away is a game I call Fridge Tetris.

I’m happy that I have friends, like Marty that have such good perspectives on life and that they (she) are willing to have me sprawl out on their (her) couch dramatically in order to detail my latest conundrums. I’m really very lucky that I have friends that like me enough to put up with my “little black cloud” moods and try and help me figure out the mysteries of life.

I’m happy I’m on a project finishing spree and I really hope that it extends over to my thesis. Spring 2012 is going to be all about finishing what I started. I just decided that now.

Day 24: (march 3)

Oh man, I missed a couple of days. I guess that means I was out living life instead of writing. Which is a good thing.

Today, though, I’m spending a quiet night at home and I’m happy for that. For the internet, my knitting and a bed all to myself.

lace shawl for my mom

I’m also happy I got to spend some time with my friends’ tiny dogs, they are loud mouths but they are also cuddly and loving. I’m also glad that I was able to help them out, I feel like my friends give so much to me I like the chance to give back whenever I can.

I’m happy that M is taking a couple of days to go meet up with some friends in Toronto. He has given so much up to come to be here with me that I’m happy he got this opportunity. I know my friends are so important to me, I want to be able to support him in seeing his friends whenever possible. Even though he’s going to be gone for almost 3 days and I’m going to miss him so much.

I’m happy that I got to have a fun night out dancing last night. Its funny how I crave that less and less. Its also funny to see how my body reacts to it. Having a good night out makes my spirits so much higher but my body can’t handle it that often anymore. I’m so tired today the idea of going out again is not even an option.

Day 25: (march 5)

Phew I’ve been slack this week. And this time its not because I’ve been busy. Well, not out of the house busy, my hands have just been otherwise occupied since I’ve been knitting away at my mom’s lace shawl.

Today I’m happy that my boyfriend is coming home from TO finally. I’ve missed his cute face.

I’m happy that I had a productive day. Though I am tired and wish I didn’t have a meeting tonight on top of it all, I’m glad that I had a lot to do.

I’m looking forward to some promising job opportunities that will hopefully clear up this money drought of ours and give us a chance to make some real plans. I’m terrible at living in limbo, unable to make any kinds of decisions so here’s hoping that a job pulls through and will make it possible to make some dreams reality.

I’m excited about my new plants. The tulips are opening and they are red! And the tiny wishing tree,  or “Tree of Enchantment” as the tag says, is just waiting for wishes to be tied into its branches. Wishes that will hopefully turn into reality soon! I think I might get a money tree too. I need all the help I can get!

Day 26: (March 7)

Today I’m happy that it feels like spring finally, I went outside and got some kitcheny things to make cooking that much better! (including a small pot like the one that I said I wanted the other week. What? I got it at a good price!)

I’m excited that I feel motivation to do my research again. This is partially because I just applied for a job I think I have a chance at and am now freaking out a bit about how I’ll work full time and write. Whatever the reason though, I’m glad I’m feeling the burn a bit.

I’m happy that my new tulip plant is flowering and that its still (kinda) light out after 6pm. Spring is coming! I can’t waaaaait.

Day 27: (March 12)

The past week of small things was really up and down. I was not feeling committed to my blog apparently. Oh well, I refuse to beat myself up about a project that is really just for me so here is day 27, 5 days after day 26.

Today I am so so grateful for the spring weather. For making it through the shittiest time of the year, when its so grey and there are far too many layers of clothing to be worn. I’m happy that I can sit at my desk in a tshirt with the windows open and the sweet spring air coming in. I’m happy to be wearing canvas sneakers and my jean jacket. I love the looks on peoples’ faces as they shake off the months of grey slush and how we meet eyes on the street, everyone smiling at each other.

I’m happy for the cheque that came in the mail today, and how that signals the end of a very stressful contract. Also, how it provided M and I the chance to buy a couple of luxury items, new shoes, new jeans. I’m happy to be wearing a pair of unpatched pants. My first in almost a year. It feels good to have a moment of not counting pennies. Along the same lines, I’m happy for the work that has come into our lives and the potential for more. I’m really looking forward to the day that we can move from this very uncertain limbo and start to make real future plans. Plans that we can do more than dream about.

But mostly I’m just happy for spring.