Stationary Drifting


2013: the post in which I state my resolutions

I think I was kind of trying to avoid writing a post on new years resolutions, etc. For no particular reason other than the fact that it seemed to be required of bloggers (am I a blogger now?), and a bit cliche for this time of the year. I guess I do like to have personal time capsules though, hence the existence of this blog in the first place. After reading a few bloggers talk about looking at their resolutions from last year and comment on them I got a hankering to be able to do that myself. So here’s my plan for this year, no particular order, mostly to look back at in approximately 353 days and see how it worked out.

1. Finish my thesis

This is a really big one. I know that my thesis has made an appearance in the complaining part of this blog many a time. Its been dragging on a long time and is getting to the point of being more of a myth in my life than a reality. I’m tired of feeling embarrassed and apologetic every time someone asks me about it. I really want to have it done and over with so I can prove to myself that I am capable of such tasks and and to be able to move on with my life. The thesis is holding me back from starting other things I care about learning because I can’t really imagine, or justify to others, starting anything new with this still sitting there. So to do this I’m going to have to 9-5 this shit. No more flexible time, no more excuses, just all work all the time until I’m done. It will feel so good to move on and I’m going to use the yearning for that feeling to drive me.

2. Find a good job

Finding a job has been a helluva chore. Its been over a year that I’ve been applying, going to interviews, feeling rejected, and starting again. My goal for this year is to make the changes that need to be made in order to find work, which will include really thinking about whether Montreal is the place for this to happen. I’ve been applying to work in other places but maybe I need to make the big move to change up the formula and hopefully find something that works. This requires a lot of thinking and planning since I don’t exactly have the income to up and move to a more expensive city (thinking Toronto), and obviously this decision also affects M so its got to work for him too. Whatever it is, something is not working in my application process and I need to evaluate that. This goal is related to the above goal in a lot of ways, not the least of which because both are making me feel stuck and also probably that getting my thesis done and graduating will help the job hunt. Its also related to moving my life and my new little family’s life and goals forward. So its back to the regular job hunt for me. To do this I’m going to get back to regularly searching for and applying to jobs. I’m going to make it my begin the morning routine, over coffee and breakfast (which I will also be getting better at), before working on my thesis.

3. Drink more water

In the past I’ve gone for more of a general “get healthy” goal. I’m not ditching that because let’s be honest, I’m way too young to not take care of myself. This year though I’m going to put down a more specific goal of making sure I drink a lot more water every day. Like the full recommended daily amount. Its not a hard goal but its a habit I want to form and it will take some conscious intention to get it started. I’m going to follow the Mayo Clinic’s advice because they seem legit and are usually not too extreme in their recommendations. They say that the average woman in a temperate climate should drink 9 liters a day so I’m going to aim for that. 9-10 big glasses or my water bottle a day should do the trick. I want to start each day with water before anything else and move from there. Luckily I drink a lot of water when sitting at a desk, mostly out of fidgety boredom, so this should work perfectly with my above plans.

4. Start a Cdn political analysis blog/podcast

This one is going to be on pause until the Thesis is done because frankly I’m not sure I can handle more writing, other than blogging, on top of that but I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time. Hence the Department of Analysis blog I keep but don’t write on these days. I follow a lot of grassroots political blogs and podcasts and really enjoy the perspective. My complaint about this though is that all of them are American, and while I appreciate the updates on what’s going on there I want to publicize what’s going on here too. The idea is not to be a journalist so I won’t be going out to follow stories, that’s not my goal. What I want to do is be a pundit of sorts and do commentary on events, news and politics in Canada to try and up the conversations happening about the situation here. The US affects our politics but we have plenty of our own that needs to be discussed. I’m going to aim for a late spring launch on this. If I can get others involved then great but if not I’m still going to do it.

5. Start a small Apothecary

I’ve been into herbal and holistic healthcare for a long time now. I think my first foray into it was when I got Bell’s Palsy (8 years ago?) and doctors told me that they didn’t know anything to ease the symptoms or speed recovery but that some people had good results from acupuncture. Luckily at that time I was still covered under my dad’s awesome teacher’s insurance and I was able to get acupuncture 3x/week for months free. It worked, was relaxing and most importantly I had (what I’m told is) a remarkable recovery. I still seek out acupuncture when I need it these days, though I don’t have coverage for it so its a lot less often. From there I got myself a naturopath and started using herbal remedies to make myself healthier and my obsession has only grown. Nowadays I treat just about everything with herbs (unless I’m really sick) and have gotten into making toiletries. I know make my own deodorant, cream and lip balm and am learning to make more. I’ve been researching lots of recipes (and even classes) but for now I think I can start a small apothecary making non-internal products and selling them around town. So this winter is for learning, and when the thesis is done I will launch!

6. Make a budget and stick to it

Classic resolution and one that I make almost every year. Its a bit comical to try and make a budget for such a small amount of money but at the same time SO necessary. This budget is going to focus on watching what we spend and paying down debt so that when we eventually have good jobs and more income we know where our money goes and hopefully have a cleaner slate to work with, and better credit. Eventually we will want to do things like buy cars and maybe a somewhere to live. Or at least travel. Money sucks when you don’t have it. So a budget has been made for this year, mapping out the real expenses we have and prioritizing the important things, including a (very small) budget line for entertainment. Now we just have to make sure we stay on track.

7. Read more books

My degree has killed my ability to sit and read for fun. I feel guilty when I’m not reading academic stuff so I haven’t really. I got a mini kobo for xmas this year and some bookstore gift certificates and I had no idea what to buy! This is so weird for me, I used to be such a big reader. This is somewhat related to the next resolution.┬áDon’t get me wrong, I read, a lot. I have a solid 29 blogs and news agencies that I check at least once a day (thank you flipboard), not to mention the many articles, postings, rants and commentaries that also make up my daily reading. I love reading and I love learning, I acknowledge that I’ve turned more towards emerging and grassroots/popular learning in the form of new media academics and I like it. I get challenged a lot from it and it inspires a lot of discussion in my home. I miss reading for fun though, and reading fiction. Anyway, I finished reading Fun Home last week and am partway through Alison Bechdel’s new book, Are You My Mother?. Next up is Barbara Kingsolver’s, Flight Behavior on my new kobo. Then maybe something by Zadie Smith? I don’t know yet. The plan is to read at least 30 books for fun this year (idea from blackandwhiteandlovedallover). 30 is not much but it seems reasonable in the face of the stack of books I have to read to finish my damn degree.

8. Use less screens

This is another reason why I haven’t been reading enough. I have a million screens that I can look at in all places. My computer, tablet, smart phone, and (now) ereader makes is virtually (pun intended) impossible to avoid looking at a screen. I can sit in front of the computer all day, or peruse the www on my tablet in bed or while traveling (I even use it for knitting patterns!), the phone works for small spaces like the metro or bus or if I don’t have the tablet with me. The ereader for when my eyes feel like falling out of my head from starting at screens too long. So, with the health of my eyes in mind I’m going to make sure I spend a significant amount of time not looking at screens a day. Whether that’s reading (ereader doesn’t count, its nice on the eyes), knitting, hanging out with friends, cooking or whatever I’m going to make an effort.

9. Go somewhere new

Phew, this post is getting really long. Its taken me almost 2 weeks to write!

This is a fun one, a lot of these goals feel kinda heavy….I’m a wanderlust at heart. I’ve been in Montreal for 5 and a half years and its closing in on the longest I’ve lived anywhere, including places I lived as a child (Calgary was 7 years). My parents move(d) a lot, I’ve moved a LOT. There was the period of time between 19-24 I moved cities, if not countries, every 4 months. I like being nomadic, I get excited by new places. I have come to enjoy the benefits of being somewhere a while, which mostly have to do with knowing people for a long time, but I still need new places in my life to keep things fresh. So my goal for this year is to go to at least one new place. It doesn’t have to be far, it just has to be somewhere I’ve never been before.

10. “Renovate” the apartment

I’ve been living in this little apartment for almost 2 years, and now officially over 1 year with M. When I originally set up and painted the place it worked really well for me. We made a few changes to fit M in when they moved here but other than moving one or two pieces of furniture and clearing out a closet and a few drawers for them to use there haven’t really been any changes made to the place. Its in desperate need of an update and a shuffling to make ‘my’ place ‘ours’. My goal for this year is to declutter, paint, recover and buy with M to make our house ours. We’re exploring ways to cover the terrible linoleum in the kitchen & bathroom. Suggestions welcome. Changing a rental apartment is an interesting dance between wanting a good space and not investing a lot into a place we’ll move out of and leave behind.


1 Comment

Small Things Project: Day 74 (oct 17)

 

today I’m happy for calling it quits and eating pizza in bed and watching stupid movies. I’m also happy that M can handle it when I feel this way. Let’s just put it this way, I knew its was going to be a rough day when I started off being angry at every person just for squishing next to me on the metro. Here’s to trying again tomorrow.


2 Comments

30

Holy balls I turned 30! This is me, in the rain, hungover and excited about a giant sunflower.

/// Birthday Day!!! ///

The weekend was so very nice. I was really sick last week and I rolled into my last few days of my 2oies seriously on my last legs. My new work schedule and the amount of time I spend on the metro every day had really led to a helluva cold. I took off work early on Friday because I had a sneaking suspicion that a surprise party was brewing and I needed a nap. The surprise party was adorable. Mars gathering a few of my closest friends together for a really sweet party with family and friends skyped in, champagne, delicious food, cake, balloons, noise makers and streamers. It was lovely and he put so much work into it, it really showed. The party didn’t go late which worked fine for me because I felt like death and I got a good night sleep on Friday night, partially because M slept on the couch (he was trying really hard not to get sick).

/// an extremely fuzzy phone photo of a really delicious cheesecake ///

On Saturday I treated myself to a haircut (with Julie again). I hadn’t had a haircut since April I think. Julie cuts hair so well that it can grow out for literally ages and still look good. I also got my nails done by my friend Laura of Drop Dead Manicures. Yay, self pampering.

/// purple ombre with roses on the ring fingers and thumbs ///

I had a quiet rest of the day with Mars and then we got ready to go out to a party that he was performing at. He gave an incredible performance and then made me get up on stage at midnight to wish me happy birthday. I was totally embarrassed and totally charmed, no one has ever done anything like that for me. We spent the rest of the night dancing, were joined by my good friend Katie and rolled out very late.

Sunday was my actual birthday and the only thing I wanted was to go have brunch at a really great spot that I’m not going to name because its already SO busy and hard to get in there. That’s pretty much all we did too. I didn’t answer any calls except from my parents (seemed fair that they got a pass for making this birthday possible) and we just had a quite day watching movies and napping.

30 is already way different than 20 but I love it. I’m really excited for this new decade and what it will bring me. I did so much in my 20ies and had so many adventures, I’m really curious to know what my 30ies will bring.


I woke up really early. Was going to have a productive morning but was too tired

I am my own worst enemy on this. I don’t know when I started being the type of person who needed to go to bed early, which is fine and all but it hasn’t been matched with with an ability to wake up early (some people would disagree with my definition of early). I’ve been trying to wake up at a reasonable time lately and it is doing basically nothing for me except making me excessively sleepy throughout the day.

Take today for example. I had to take some brownies I made yesterday over to my friend’s house before she left said house at 8:45. I got up with just enough time to put on some wildly inappropriate clothing for interacting with the business folks on the metro at 8am, pushing my hair into what I can best approximate as a pony tail, and stalked off to her place promising myself, as I always do when I have to get up much earlier than usual, that I could crawl back into bed upon returning home. The morning got the best of me though and after leaving her place I decided to walk home and enjoy the morning light/air/feeling of being productive like those working people on the metro, and got it into my head that I would make good use of this early started day. A feeling that stuck around in all its glory for the rest of the morning while I made myself coffee and settled in to ‘read the news’ and drink coffee before ‘getting to work’. As soon as I was installed in my chair the glory faded and I ended up sleepily reading my newest blog obsession until it was way past the time I normally get my shit together. ///Sidebar: Kings & Cosmics is a hilarious blog by a stay at home mom with no intentions of crafting her way to blog fame, plus she is unendingly (not a word) witty which always gets my good graces///

This is not an isolated incident. And is not terrible in and of itself except that I’m watching my window of productivity be horribly shortened to the point that I’m worried that I have literally no productive times. I mean, I’m blogging right now aren’t I? I suppose that’s mildly productive, moreso than being catatonic on the couch, but not enough to make me feel good about myself. If I can’t get working early, I feel ready to ‘relax’ by 5/6pm and my brain checks out entirely by midnight at the latest then when the fuck am I supposed to be a useful person to myself or anyone else?

Sad state of affairs I’m complaining about sleeping and self-directed work time but whatever this is my corner of the www and I can do what I want with it.