Stationary Drifting


Happy Birthday Mom!

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Today is my mom’s birthday and I just wanted to send a little shout out to her in celebration of her awesomeness over her years in rotation of the sun.

Thanks mom for being the best damn mom I could ever ask for. Thanks for being steadfast and calm all the time. For your incredible decision making power and selflessness. For your laugh. For being an inspiring artist and crafts person. For taking all your passions and responsibilities head on. For commanding attention without raising your voice. For not being afraid to take risks. For demonstrating that being happy is really important. For doing what you love even if its not a field that’s particularly welcoming to women and single mothers. For loving us all so wholly.

From my perspective, thank you for kick-starting the majority of my hobbies and passions. For trying to understand me even when I don’t make sense to you. For being incredibly supportive of even my most wild ideas. For pushing me to chase my dreams and for only occasionally complaining that those dreams took me so far away from home. Thanks for always sounding happy and excited when I call you. For meeting me at the airport at all times of the day or night and for coming to visit. For encouraging me to travel and try new things. For showing me how to be a tough woman that holds her own and reminding me not to be an island. For editing my university papers even though I cried when you did. For trying to teach me math even though I cried when you did. For putting me in dance so that I would stand half a chance in not inheriting your klutziness (not that dance has eliminated that all together). For showing me how to be tender with people you love. For loving the prairies so much. For “just us girls” moments.

Love you more than I could say. Sending you lots of birthday love. Here’s hoping I can be there for a birthday of yours soon!


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Small Things Project: Day 66 (oct 3)

Today I’m happy that I got up early enough to have breakfast, make coffee and get to work on time. When I manage to do that I feel good about myself, like I’m handling my life well. The key factor in being about to do that was the fact that I managed a semi-reasonable bed time last night. Which also makes me feel good because, 1. I’m getting close to enough sleep & 2. I have some will power.

I’m also happy I managed to get 3 meals into myself today. One thing that really stuck out for me in my session with Sara was just how many meals I skip. I’m trying to take her advice to worry less about what I eat in this moment and more about making sure I do eat. She thinks it will help with my general lack of energy, I think that she’s probably right. So I’m happy that happened.

What else? I had another, really good thing to talk about but I lost it when I decided to click off the page and lost my whole post. Having to re-write it made me forget….

Let’s just say that I’m happy for a short meeting tonight so I could get home at a reasonable time. And for finding $20 on the street (which I kept because I didn’t see the person it came from). I also found a fancy samsung phone, which I didn’t keep because I have a smart phone too that that shit is back karma (& not many people can afford to replace those expensive devices off contract). I called a few people in the guy’s contacts and then he called me back on his own phone. He was so relieved that he tried to give me $$ for it, which I didn’t take (see above). I think he wanted to hug me but I was late for the aforementioned meeting so I told him not to worry about it. He told me I had great karma, which I’m hoping he’s right about. I could use some good karma in my life these days. I got plans that need some karmic love. Sooooooo, happy?


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Embracing my inner woo

I like to think of myself as a pragmatic person. I don’t follow any kind of religion, in fact I feel sometimes feel (shamefully) disdainful of (organized) religion. When I was out in SF a while back I remember being more than a little put off by the level of woo that was going around. Intrigued, but put off. I think it was the ways in which it encompassed some peoples lives to the point of disconnection from reality that got to me mostly. Anyway, back to my point, being spiritual is not something that I assign as a descriptor of myself. AND YET, I caught myself the other day taking a break from research Alchemy to go through my deck of protection cards for solace. I’m going to let that settle for a second and let you talk in those words and this picture….

///alchemy research + portable fortitude deck + the necklace I wear pretty much every day + a birthday list to myself that includes another crystal, a tattoo and the collective tarot///

I don’t remember why I was researching alchemy. I think it just popped in my head, or I came across a random side bar reference and was all, ‘I wonder what that’s about’. I remember loving the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and being pumped about Alchemy as a topic from then on. After some research I decided that I’m not really that into Alchemy as it stands, but I do still love the symbols and their meaning. I think I just love symbolic meaning.

I mean, obviously I like symbolic meaning. Look at every single one of the tattoos I have, the name of this blog, my own cryptic writing style (about important things). One day I should go into what each of my tattoos mean to me but for now I would like to direct your attention to the necklace I wear pretty much every day, which also has tons of symbolic meaning. The ring is my grandmother‘s wedding ring. She gave it to me just before dementia really took her brain away from us all. There is a really good story attached to that ring, and maybe one day I’ll write the second half of my ode to her (first part linked above), be in the end this ring is really important to me. The amethyst was my birthday present to myself last year (from sparklefarm) and, besides being pretty, it is meant to provide me with power, protection and healing. Things that meant a lot me last year as I was healing from my broken elbow and surgeries. I mean, those things are still important to me, just in different ways now. The other pendant is stone with threads of opal (meaning healing, love, money & luck) in it that my mom and step-dad brought back from Australia. I went to Australia for my first trip on my own, my first real time on my own. Also, it provides the balance that Libra me (yes, horoscopes too) needs in having both parents represented on the chain.

Last is the portable fortitude cards by Corina Dross. She is a Philly based artist and all of West Philly is covered in representations of these cards. So they mean a lot in the sense of them being from where my husband is from and where we hung out. Also, if you can’t read it, the showing card says “Protection from the Impending Flood”. All the cards have protection messages and when I’m feeling stuck or uncertain I pull a few cards and think about their meaning in my life, which I was doing that night, the day before my first day at work. It did make me feel better.

So yeah. Not woo.

/// creepy shot I took with flash ~ kinda woo ///

Okay, maybe just a little….


Marseau and I get excited about photobooth

domestic partnership meets two photo egos, one very willing model and one very eager photographer (and secret wannabe model).

Jared web announces his marriage

jaredmercer:

On December 17, 2011 I married my girlfriend and songwriting partner Lily Boughtwood. Photos courtesy of Andre Boughtwood.

Yay! I love that this happened. So happy for my bruv and my new sister (nickname pending)

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Big news post

god, I’ve gotten all repost-y lately and haven’t written much for myself. Which is weird because there’s been a helluva lot going on in my world. I think that I’ve been pretty distracted by real life though, in a good way. So I haven’t taken much time to write.

Important things are a brewin’. The most important of which I’m going to keep quiet for the meantime. But other things are still going on.

1. My baby brother is getting married next weekend in vegas! It’s shocked my family a fair bit but its turning out to look like a really fun weekend. Soon both my younger brothers will be married. We’ve come a long way, it’s funny to be adults with them sometimes. When I think about it I still think that we should be wrestling, begrudgingly sharing a single can of pop and running around the backyard. When did we all get to this point?

2. I’m back in Philly. The breakup that I’ve been alluding to has been annulled. Which is the real reason why I haven’t been online that much, I’ve been reveling in presence of my love, making plans, and allowing myself to be happy. Sometimes its important to remind myself that love can be good, and enough.

3. I came out to my step dad! He was the last family member that didn’t know and the pressure of keeping it covered up 3 years after coming out to the rest of my family has been hard and ultimately unsustainable. Because of the above 2 points it became pretty necessary to finally bite that bullet. It was incredibly hard, my mom and I were both scared, he doesn’t have a good track record with gay stuff but it went surprisingly well. As my aunt put it, “its hard to be homophobic when the homo is your child”. Thank god for that.

Big news times.