Stationary Drifting


oh hey

top of St Mike's

top of St Mike’s

I’m back again. I’m going to be honest, I have no idea what to do with this blog. I keep wanting it to be SOMETHING but, like the rest of my life, I’m a little too scattered to be of any use. That being said, I feel the need to write something, anything. So I’m going to come back to this space and see what I have to give to it.

It might be a little melodramatic, I feel that way these days. It will definitely include the search for happiness that I have referenced before. I am actively back on the path towards finding what my life can be. I mean seriously, screw mid to low range emotions. I don’t really want to live the rest of my life feeling shitty to okay. It will include some health stuff because I really need to do something about my body. It will probably still include cooking and making of things because 1. I find those things relaxing and so they are useful to the above search for happiness, and 2. I’m redoubling my efforts to keep food in the house and non-take out food in my belly. I also need winter hobbies, hence the making. Makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something other than get out of bed and go to work, re: happiness. It all comes full circle to that. And stream of consciousness documenting helps too. I have an affinity to this claimed corner of the internet and as long as I continue to feel good about it I’m going to inhabit here.

I have literally no idea how many times I’ve said this but I’m back. Maybe I’ll make some changes, I have no idea how much I’ll actually write. I’ll try and keep it interesting. Comment if you feel like it, I do appreciate a boost.

Happy end of 2013 everyone.

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Best of Blogs: March

best of blogs_march

I didn’t really keep up with my posting schedule for this month but I do want to keep up with my ‘best of’ posts. The monthly posts are a great way for me to record my goings on for posterity or whatever, and I really love the best of blogs posts because I really love blogs! I don’t have a lot of readership, and some of the blogs I follow don’t either (though I’m sure they all have more than me!), but whether we just read each others’ or if we have thousands of hits a day I really love these blogs and I want to give them the recognition they deserve.

This month I would really like to highlight 2 blogs that have inspired me to get back into blogging as a way to share my day to day and what makes me happy. I think that these were the first 2 blogs I really got into, and started reading daily (or whenever they posted). They both are incredibly honest in their approach to writing, which is refreshing and so so brave. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to put myself out there like they do (either on the web or in real life) but I very much admire their writing. They remind me to not fall into the trap of blogging only about beautiful things but to find beauty in the sharing the hard things too.

Click here to see February’s best of blogs – there are some great blogs on that one that I am still reading daily.

REMINDER: all the photos belong to the blogger they are associated with, click each photo to be taken to their corresponding post.

blackandwhiteandlovedallover{click blog logo, or here, to be taken to the site}

/// above photos belong to Ellen, click on each photo to be taken to their source ///

Ellen from Black and White and Loved All Over is one of the first bloggers I started to follow regularly. I really can’t remember right now how I came across her blog but I remember being really really excited about her writing style from the beginning. There are a few blogs I have come across that I loved so much that I read pretty much all their archives like the site was a novel, hers was the first one I did that with. I had no idea that I could get that into the ramblings of a fellow internet user but Ellen proved me that writing and just putting it out there can be so powerful.

These days Ellen is a mother of 2 really really gorgeous girls (pictured above!) and blogs a lot about her experience of motherhood. She is so real and honest about the joys and challenges of motherhood, its refreshing. I haven’t quite found anyone who expresses so well (what I imagine is) the complexities of loving little people so much while simultaneously acknowledging that its a damn hard job. She also blogs about home decor, DIY culture, being a freelance writer, living in Nashville, her husband, and other regular life stuff. I can’t help but having a driving need to visit Nashville and see the beauty of the place she describes with so much love.

I really suggest clicking the links and checking out blackandwhiteandlovedallover. Its a really wonderful space on the internet and I hope she keeps up the writing for a long time (no pressure Ellen, but seriously I would really miss you if you stopped).

Also, she just seems like a cool person, the kind I would enjoy sharing a beer with and rolling our eyes about life’s twists and turns.

{click blog logo, or here, to be taken to the site}

/// above photos belong to Drea, click on each photo to be taken to their source ///

I don’t know why I follow so many mom bloggers…maybe there’s something about being a mom being at home for that first little bit that gets people into it, maybe its a desire to document your child’s life that comes out of parenthood (I’ve seen a fair few dad bloggers too), I don’t know I’m not a mom. Drea from ohdeardrea is another blogger I follow that is also a mother of a really lovely and sweet sounding daughter. I think I found Drea’s blog through Ellen from blackandwhiteandlovedallover (above). She is the second blogger I remember getting into and the second blog that I got so excited about I read nearly all her archives. What made Drea stand out to me at first was that she was (at the time) a single mom blogger. Which is pretty rare, I find, in the blog world and kind of refreshing to see that people are thriving as single, happy parents out there. The other thing I really liked about her blog was how raw it was. She did not hold back at all in talking about her struggles and what was going on for her. Which is also really rare in the blog world where everything is tied up in a neat little bow that was hand crafted and photoshopped. These days she is a little more, I don’t know, restrained in her writing. Which makes complete sense to me because people on the internet can be pretty judgemental. But she still retains an honest voice, and journal quality that makes her really great to read on this side of the screen. The kind of read that makes me feel like struggle and happiness can be tied together and beautiful either way.

Besides being a mother, Drea also writes about being vegan, crafting, cooking/eating/being a foodie (ohmygod the eating that happens in her house!), travel, living in Florida, friends and loved ones, and general life stuff.

Check out ohdeardrea for a some really heartfelt and entertaining blogging, oogle her incredible floral couch, and dream about living in Florida.

Like Ellen, Drea just seems like a really great person that would be fun to go out dancing with.

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And that’s it for March Best of Blogs. Thanks to Ellen and Drea for their permission to use photos from their blogs. I have to admit that its a bit of a thrill to send and get emails from people who’s blogs I really admire.

Thanks for reading, and let me know what your favourite blogs are in the comments! I’m always happy to find new great and inspiring sites to read!


2013: the post in which I state my resolutions

I think I was kind of trying to avoid writing a post on new years resolutions, etc. For no particular reason other than the fact that it seemed to be required of bloggers (am I a blogger now?), and a bit cliche for this time of the year. I guess I do like to have personal time capsules though, hence the existence of this blog in the first place. After reading a few bloggers talk about looking at their resolutions from last year and comment on them I got a hankering to be able to do that myself. So here’s my plan for this year, no particular order, mostly to look back at in approximately 353 days and see how it worked out.

1. Finish my thesis

This is a really big one. I know that my thesis has made an appearance in the complaining part of this blog many a time. Its been dragging on a long time and is getting to the point of being more of a myth in my life than a reality. I’m tired of feeling embarrassed and apologetic every time someone asks me about it. I really want to have it done and over with so I can prove to myself that I am capable of such tasks and and to be able to move on with my life. The thesis is holding me back from starting other things I care about learning because I can’t really imagine, or justify to others, starting anything new with this still sitting there. So to do this I’m going to have to 9-5 this shit. No more flexible time, no more excuses, just all work all the time until I’m done. It will feel so good to move on and I’m going to use the yearning for that feeling to drive me.

2. Find a good job

Finding a job has been a helluva chore. Its been over a year that I’ve been applying, going to interviews, feeling rejected, and starting again. My goal for this year is to make the changes that need to be made in order to find work, which will include really thinking about whether Montreal is the place for this to happen. I’ve been applying to work in other places but maybe I need to make the big move to change up the formula and hopefully find something that works. This requires a lot of thinking and planning since I don’t exactly have the income to up and move to a more expensive city (thinking Toronto), and obviously this decision also affects M so its got to work for him too. Whatever it is, something is not working in my application process and I need to evaluate that. This goal is related to the above goal in a lot of ways, not the least of which because both are making me feel stuck and also probably that getting my thesis done and graduating will help the job hunt. Its also related to moving my life and my new little family’s life and goals forward. So its back to the regular job hunt for me. To do this I’m going to get back to regularly searching for and applying to jobs. I’m going to make it my begin the morning routine, over coffee and breakfast (which I will also be getting better at), before working on my thesis.

3. Drink more water

In the past I’ve gone for more of a general “get healthy” goal. I’m not ditching that because let’s be honest, I’m way too young to not take care of myself. This year though I’m going to put down a more specific goal of making sure I drink a lot more water every day. Like the full recommended daily amount. Its not a hard goal but its a habit I want to form and it will take some conscious intention to get it started. I’m going to follow the Mayo Clinic’s advice because they seem legit and are usually not too extreme in their recommendations. They say that the average woman in a temperate climate should drink 9 liters a day so I’m going to aim for that. 9-10 big glasses or my water bottle a day should do the trick. I want to start each day with water before anything else and move from there. Luckily I drink a lot of water when sitting at a desk, mostly out of fidgety boredom, so this should work perfectly with my above plans.

4. Start a Cdn political analysis blog/podcast

This one is going to be on pause until the Thesis is done because frankly I’m not sure I can handle more writing, other than blogging, on top of that but I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time. Hence the Department of Analysis blog I keep but don’t write on these days. I follow a lot of grassroots political blogs and podcasts and really enjoy the perspective. My complaint about this though is that all of them are American, and while I appreciate the updates on what’s going on there I want to publicize what’s going on here too. The idea is not to be a journalist so I won’t be going out to follow stories, that’s not my goal. What I want to do is be a pundit of sorts and do commentary on events, news and politics in Canada to try and up the conversations happening about the situation here. The US affects our politics but we have plenty of our own that needs to be discussed. I’m going to aim for a late spring launch on this. If I can get others involved then great but if not I’m still going to do it.

5. Start a small Apothecary

I’ve been into herbal and holistic healthcare for a long time now. I think my first foray into it was when I got Bell’s Palsy (8 years ago?) and doctors told me that they didn’t know anything to ease the symptoms or speed recovery but that some people had good results from acupuncture. Luckily at that time I was still covered under my dad’s awesome teacher’s insurance and I was able to get acupuncture 3x/week for months free. It worked, was relaxing and most importantly I had (what I’m told is) a remarkable recovery. I still seek out acupuncture when I need it these days, though I don’t have coverage for it so its a lot less often. From there I got myself a naturopath and started using herbal remedies to make myself healthier and my obsession has only grown. Nowadays I treat just about everything with herbs (unless I’m really sick) and have gotten into making toiletries. I know make my own deodorant, cream and lip balm and am learning to make more. I’ve been researching lots of recipes (and even classes) but for now I think I can start a small apothecary making non-internal products and selling them around town. So this winter is for learning, and when the thesis is done I will launch!

6. Make a budget and stick to it

Classic resolution and one that I make almost every year. Its a bit comical to try and make a budget for such a small amount of money but at the same time SO necessary. This budget is going to focus on watching what we spend and paying down debt so that when we eventually have good jobs and more income we know where our money goes and hopefully have a cleaner slate to work with, and better credit. Eventually we will want to do things like buy cars and maybe a somewhere to live. Or at least travel. Money sucks when you don’t have it. So a budget has been made for this year, mapping out the real expenses we have and prioritizing the important things, including a (very small) budget line for entertainment. Now we just have to make sure we stay on track.

7. Read more books

My degree has killed my ability to sit and read for fun. I feel guilty when I’m not reading academic stuff so I haven’t really. I got a mini kobo for xmas this year and some bookstore gift certificates and I had no idea what to buy! This is so weird for me, I used to be such a big reader. This is somewhat related to the next resolution. Don’t get me wrong, I read, a lot. I have a solid 29 blogs and news agencies that I check at least once a day (thank you flipboard), not to mention the many articles, postings, rants and commentaries that also make up my daily reading. I love reading and I love learning, I acknowledge that I’ve turned more towards emerging and grassroots/popular learning in the form of new media academics and I like it. I get challenged a lot from it and it inspires a lot of discussion in my home. I miss reading for fun though, and reading fiction. Anyway, I finished reading Fun Home last week and am partway through Alison Bechdel’s new book, Are You My Mother?. Next up is Barbara Kingsolver’s, Flight Behavior on my new kobo. Then maybe something by Zadie Smith? I don’t know yet. The plan is to read at least 30 books for fun this year (idea from blackandwhiteandlovedallover). 30 is not much but it seems reasonable in the face of the stack of books I have to read to finish my damn degree.

8. Use less screens

This is another reason why I haven’t been reading enough. I have a million screens that I can look at in all places. My computer, tablet, smart phone, and (now) ereader makes is virtually (pun intended) impossible to avoid looking at a screen. I can sit in front of the computer all day, or peruse the www on my tablet in bed or while traveling (I even use it for knitting patterns!), the phone works for small spaces like the metro or bus or if I don’t have the tablet with me. The ereader for when my eyes feel like falling out of my head from starting at screens too long. So, with the health of my eyes in mind I’m going to make sure I spend a significant amount of time not looking at screens a day. Whether that’s reading (ereader doesn’t count, its nice on the eyes), knitting, hanging out with friends, cooking or whatever I’m going to make an effort.

9. Go somewhere new

Phew, this post is getting really long. Its taken me almost 2 weeks to write!

This is a fun one, a lot of these goals feel kinda heavy….I’m a wanderlust at heart. I’ve been in Montreal for 5 and a half years and its closing in on the longest I’ve lived anywhere, including places I lived as a child (Calgary was 7 years). My parents move(d) a lot, I’ve moved a LOT. There was the period of time between 19-24 I moved cities, if not countries, every 4 months. I like being nomadic, I get excited by new places. I have come to enjoy the benefits of being somewhere a while, which mostly have to do with knowing people for a long time, but I still need new places in my life to keep things fresh. So my goal for this year is to go to at least one new place. It doesn’t have to be far, it just has to be somewhere I’ve never been before.

10. “Renovate” the apartment

I’ve been living in this little apartment for almost 2 years, and now officially over 1 year with M. When I originally set up and painted the place it worked really well for me. We made a few changes to fit M in when they moved here but other than moving one or two pieces of furniture and clearing out a closet and a few drawers for them to use there haven’t really been any changes made to the place. Its in desperate need of an update and a shuffling to make ‘my’ place ‘ours’. My goal for this year is to declutter, paint, recover and buy with M to make our house ours. We’re exploring ways to cover the terrible linoleum in the kitchen & bathroom. Suggestions welcome. Changing a rental apartment is an interesting dance between wanting a good space and not investing a lot into a place we’ll move out of and leave behind.


Small Things Project: Day 62 (sept 22)

So today it feels like fall, its rainy and grey and cooling off. I’m happy I got to sleep in and fuck around most of the day. I got to have brunch with my boo and spend some time watching dexter, doing some photoshop stuff for coming posts, and send some emails. Its been just over a week and I am already r.e.a.l.l.y missing the amount of time I used to have to myself to do things like cook and blog and whatever else. I miss home. Now that its fall I want to start knitting/crafting again so maybe I need to get that going. Its funny because now that I’m out all day during the week I’ve become even more of a home body. Like I need to soak up the time I have now that I have it. I’m trying to push myself to do more things though, this life needs to be more involved.

So yeah, happy for cool fall days and for time at home.

// I made a SMP logo and am testing it out to see if I like it in the posts, trying to style up the text a bit for when I don’t have photos ///