Stationary Drifting


Old Family Photos

 Photo 2012-12-30 11 10 07 PMMy mom’s family (she’s the littlest in this picture sitting in my grandfather’s lap). Sitting is my grandfather (Fred) & grandmother (Marie), I never met either of them. Standing are my uncles Don (left) and Gerry (right), and aunts Elaine (left) and Shelley (right).  Photo 2012-12-30 11 09 15 PM

My grandfather (Fred Woloshyn) on my mom’s side. This is his candidate picture from when he ran as an MP.Verna - BrideMy dad’s parents. Grandma (Verna) and grandpa (Harald) on their wedding day. I don’t know what year.

Photo 2013-01-06 3 01 10 PM

My great aunt Thelma (grandfather’s sister) and my grandparents on my dad’s side wedding day.Photo 2013-01-06 3 01 18 PM

My dad’s mom (Verna) as a teenager in Dartmouth, NS I believe.

ps. I’ve written about this grandma lots, you can find it here, here, here, here and especially hereRichard, Georgina & William Mercer - 1916

This one is a doozy. Its my great grandfather (Richard) and HIS parents (my great great grandparents on my dad’s paternal side) Georgina and William in 1916. This was taken when Richard was on leave from WW!.

After my trip home in December and this winter what with my dad digging into old family history this winter I’ve amassed a bit of an old family photo collection that I thought I’d share. They are pretty special to me. I tweaked them a little with photoshop to make them clearer but otherwise they are mostly photos or scans of originals floating around family houses these days.

In other news…

It felt like spring was in the air while I was out and about this morning but by afternoon there was another snow storm blowing. I guess its still going to be winter for a while here.

Today was a really get things done day. I had my office hours for the class I’m assisting this semester (nobody came to see me, foolish students). I came home and did some looking for articles for the terrorism section of my lit review (tomorrow is searching and reading day). I jammed out to songza, my new favourite way to listen to music (you can find me under keetham but all there is there are playlists I’ve been excited about the past few days). I found a new blog that I’m excited about. I’m going to post about it tomorrow so I won’t get too into what its about. Suffice to say I pinned A LOT of things from it tonight.

I’m sending love to my step dad and my mom who are on their way to Poland right now. My step dad’s mom passed away last night. I never met her but I’ve heard many stories over the years and am feeling a little sad that I never got to. Mostly I’m feeling sad for my step dad, who just lost his mom and that hurts no matter how old you are.


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Small Things Project: Day 73 (oct 16)

Today I’m happy for a really interesting and engaged group of people who brought all sorts of good questions and ideas to our Transformative Justice workshop tonight. I’m happy for the collective members I have the pleasure of working with and how awesome they are at what they do. Also for generally being awesome people.

I’m happy for this new stress relief tincture I bought. The market on tuesdays across from where I work is really cute and there’s a woman who makes all sorts of great herbals from organic, handpicked stuff, and its seasonal! I wanted to ask her to teach me everything but instead I bought the tincture and gazed longingly at the winter balm and elderberry syrup. Maybe another week. I would post her link if I could find the energy to go find her card in my wallet. Will do it tomorrow and write about whether the tincture is good or not. Yeah for supporting local independent business!

I’m happy that M has the energy to make dinner tonight because all I have the energy for is pinterest. My day started at 8am and ended at 9pm. I’m supposed to be marking right now but I think I had enough work for today.

Once again I’m so grateful to my adviser for being incredible and helping me sort out some big problems with my thesis while simultaneously making me feel capable of doing this thing. I swear that she engages me in discussions about other work I could do just to try and tempt me into a phD. Its not working….yet.


Small Things Project: Day 72 (oct 15)

Today I’m happy for the kind of nights that are quiet and cold so I can wear sweats and my beat up slippers and feel comfortable. These are the nights I was wishing for when it was killer hot this summer. Trying to remember that.

I’m also happy for the inspiration I’m getting in the form of cooking blogs and herbalists. I hope that I can find some herbalism classes to take at night when I’m done traditional school. I feel like I really want to learn more. Kinda wishing I had thought of that sooner in my life and tried that path. I mean, its not too late but some days it kind of feels that way. I guess I have to work on shrugging off that feeling. I’m 30, not old; 30, I’m allowed to change. I’m happy at least for the excitement and passion it brings me. I remember the days when I would wish SO HARD for a passion. Now I feel like I have so many. And I’m really really happy for that.

 


Small Things Project: Day 68 (oct 6)

Today I’m happy for a sleep in and a shopping trip with M. We had all sorts of plans to do laundry and clean the house but instead we blew it all off and went to box store zone.

I love my husband. He tries really hard to understand me and even though I appreciate that that’s not always easy, it makes me happy.


enjoying small routines

I’ve really started to enjoy things like cleaning the house, cooking, grocery shopping, etc. I love the small routines of taking care of myself and my living environment. Something I would have been horrified at hearing myself say a couple of years ago. I realize that its helpful that I don’t work 9-5 mon/fri and so my time is flexible. Minus the fact that I live pretty frugally with such a small budget, I really appreciate my lifestyle and my ability to go grocery shopping, or do laundry in the middle of the day when I have the place to myself.

I’m also happy that I’ve found so much enjoyment of solitude. I never thought that being alone would be something I would like so much. I’ve always been a bit of an introvert, not much of one but enough to require some alone time to regenerate every day. I used to go a bit crazy if I spend too much time alone, and I still do a little bit, but my length of time that I can spend alone has gotten a lot longer. I’m not going to lie, I love hanging out with Marseau all of the time but sometimes I look forward to a quiet few hours alone in the house when he’s gone. When I get to cook, watch tv, knit, blog, etc without having to talk to anyone for hours. Its kind of glorious and so different for me.

With the exception of Marseau, who is different than all my other living situations, this is the first time I’ve ever lived on my own. I went from living with family to living with roommates and usually living with a lot of roommates. I always really enjoyed those times. How busy and unpredictable the house could be. I still love spontaneous hang outs and house parties but I also love going home to my house, where its clean and my fridge is stocked with food I like and know how to cook. I love the quiet of it. The simplicity and how good it feels to make a home mine.

Sometimes when I think back on who I am I’m shocked at how much I’ve changed. I don’t know what has spurred this. It feels like it came on really fast but I guess in some ways it was just a process of getting older. Its interesting to look at the routines I love so much these days and know that the old me would have thought that I was boring and a sell out to the lifestyle I used to be fully committed to. And maybe I am boring and a sell out but I’m happy this way, I find enjoyment in what I do just like I did then. And while its a lot quieter, a lot less outwardly political, a lot less punk rock I still feel like my fundamental beliefs are there. I just express them with different hobbies. I think I’m also a lot more physically healthy than I used to be.

I still hate doing laundry though….


fine weather

I’ve been sick. Not serious sick. Just flu-ish. Like do the dishes and then take a break on the couch because I’m out of energy sick. I don’t really know what’s been keeping me busy otherwise. I feel like I’ve been busy but I can’t actually remember what I’ve been doing. I have a sneaking suspicion that its been a lot of being out late with Marseau, which accounts for the sleep-ins and (probably) the sickness.

I think I’m coming out the other side of it though. Other than constantly having to blow my nose I’m feeling good and energetic again. I even went to the gym yesterday! I’ve been blowing through to do’s on the wedding list, applied to like 7 jobs yesterday, did laundry, cleaned the bathroom, de-junked the office, even started prepping the balcony for planting! God I love spring/summer/fall. I can’t wait to have a bunch of plants doing their thing outside. I made spring official and took the duvet off the bed today too, in my getting rid of the sheets that I spent laying about in while sick cleaning. And with all that I’m back on the blog! So here is a post, and some pictures of the truly wonderful walk I took with Silvie’s dog Josie down the alleys of the neighbourhood today. I think it was by far the best part of my day. Josie is so great, I can let her off leash in the alleys and we can just stroll, she never goes too far and always waits up.

beautiful alley walk

walking buddy

so glad my sense of smell is coming back


Small Things Project: Day 34 to 42

Day 34: (March 27)

Back at it after a 10 day break.

Today I’m happy that I have one more day to mark all these papers and that I had nothing to do today other than mark so I could procrastinate a bit (a lot).

I’m happy that M took on cleaning and cooking today so I could focus. I like it when he does that and I like being able to keep my mind in one place for a while.

I had a nice weekend celebrating Felicia’s 30th. I’m glad I got to be a part of it. I’m also pumped about the new cake recipe I found, I’m writing a post about it but it didn’t last long enough to take a picture. It was a hit at the party.

MJ Cirque du Soleil show for Felicia's birthday. I wasn't allowed to take pictures during the show.

Day 35: (March 28)

Today I’m happy I have one more night to finish marking this god forsaken papers. I’m happy that the prof I’m working for didn’t really care that I’m not done and I’m happy that although its mind numbing work its relatively easy and pays decent.

I’m happy that Marseau is dealing with finding us food because the fridge is near empty and I’m hungry but too tired and with too much work to want to do anything about it.

Day 36: (March 29)

Today I’m so happy that I finished marking all those gd papers and got to finally get the sleep I was needing. Even when I don’t procrastinate marking is pretty painful (the novelty of it wore off after my first year as a TA), but when I do procrastinate and have 60+ papers to mark in 2 days its ridiculous. I’m glad that I was able to give the attention to each paper that they deserved, I’m also happy that there weren’t too many that were awful.

I’m happy that I’m finally rested up to clean the house. It got into total chaos mode with me working and Marseau’s busy schedule this week. I just got out of bed (after pulling 2 all nighters in a row) and survey’d the mess, its a little ridiculous. Enough to give me energy to tackle it even on my total sleep deprivation. I’ve turned into a serious neat freak since moving into my own place last year. Something about everything being in its place makes me feel like the world is right.

I’m happy to go back to my quiet life of work, crafts, social life, and regular sleeping patterns.

had to put up the fuzzy picture because I didn't want to show off someone else's work

Day 37: (March 30)

Sun! Even if its cold-ish out I’m happy for sun. I wonder how many times I’ve written that in this project. Clearly I’m a sun loving person, sun sensitive.

I’m happy for a fridge full of groceries, its been a little empty this week since M and I have both been so busy. I’m looking forward to having food at home to eat again.

I’m working away on Corrie’s bday present. Its late, as usual, which is kind of my (and her) style. Late presents are nice though, I like getting presents any time of the year and I like taking the time I need to make a nice present for someone instead of going out and buying the something and hoping they like it.

I’m happy that I’ve caught up on my sleep and am feeling more normal again. I’m getting too old of all nighters.

Day 38: (march 31)

I’m happy for a quiet day at home and the return to somewhat normal.

I’m happy that we’ve finally agreed on a wedding invitation design and that I was able to put it together myself. I feel really strongly about making as much as possible ourselves. Having a really personal/personalized day is very important to me. Plus I love an excuse to play around on photoshop, I don’t get a lot of chances to exercise those muscles these days. I have a ‘life after school’ folder in my head and taking some photography and photoshop/indesign classes are in that plan. I really do love graphic design but I’m so self taught I know that there are a lot of things I could do that I can’t figure out how to.

Day 39: (april 1)

I’m excited for my new spring plans! Today I’m going to the gym, that I signed up for yesterday. I’m going to try a spinning class. Its been years, a fair amount of weight gain and starting smoking since I last did a spinning class. I’m nervous but excited. New healthy lifestyle here I come!

ran into the bike demo against the proposed raise in tuition here. It was awesome, I wish I had biked in it.

Day 40: (april 2)

I’m excited for Game of Thrones, the tv series that M and I just started watching. This is runs somewhat contrary to my get my life together plan but still I’m enjoying it.

I’m also excited to quit smoking, though I really really want a smoke right now I’m still trying to resist because I’m excited about having healthier lungs.

Day 41: (April 4)

I’m happy for the fact that I’m still keeping up with my gym plan, and excited to start my cleanse soon. My abs are killing me but I’m happy about that, means I’m really getting into it. I’m still avoiding smoking during the day, which has been hard but I’m doing pretty good. I have smoked before 6 the past couple of days but didn’t break until 5:30. I also am not really enjoying the smokes I have. Which is good, I gotta learn to dislike them if I’m going to make this permanent. I’m looking forward to quitting.

I’m happy for the nice lunch I had with Marty and running into Mood and Corrie (separately) on the way home. I love living in a neighbourhood with lots of friends. Makes me feel so at home. Which was something I always missed after leaving Halifax and am happy to have going on again.

I’m excited about the spike in readership on this blog lately. I think my Eating: peanut Butter and ganache brownie recipe got posted on The Kitchen Sink, so a lot of people are clicking over from there. Thanks folks! I hope you like it once you get here.

Day 42: (April 5)

Today I’m happy for a quiet day at home to work on school stuff. I got a really good pep talk from Marty yesterday and she’s motivated me to get back to it.

I’m happy that its my brother Riley’s 28th birthday and I’m sending him lots of love for the next year. I wish I could be there to take him out for beers but he lives on the other side of the country. Sigh.

I’m happy for my sore muscles, it means that I’ve been working them hard! I’m excited for my session with the personal trainer tonight. I’m looking forward to getting some personalized advice, particularly for working out the shoulder and arm that I had surgery on. They are so much weaker than my right side and I want to figure out how to work out without injuring myself and getting back to myself. My arms are pretty powerful, I’ve always liked that, and I want it back.


why are weddings so complicated to plan?

I was going to write a post about the plans that have been going on for M & I’s upcoming marriage but after spending the last hour on pinterest trying to find invitation ideas I’m already overwhelmed. This shit is a lot of work! And there is so.much.stuff out there on weddings. where do I even start? what kind of party is ‘our’ kind? What the hell am I going to wear? We aren’t planning anything big or anything but I’m not exactly the person who had my wedding planned out since I was 5. In fact, if you had asked me a year ago I probably would have laughed in your face. I think I did laugh in M’s face the first time he brought it up. What? So I was slow in figuring out that he was the one for me. He, on the other hand, was sure after a couple of months. I’m not one to jump into decisions of any kind though, especially not this kind, and so I just decided he was crazy. For almost a year and a half.

I did come around though, and in the end it was me who did the proposing. Over gchat. I’m romantic like that (sorry babe). Marseau made me sweat though, after all that time of me making him wait he was determined to give me a taste of my own medicine. He waited almost 2 weeks (I was stressing out so much!), then came up to visit and said yes. Though he managed still to wait almost a full day before saying yes. He’s more romantic in a lot of ways than me (though not all ways), I think he was waiting for a special moment.

We spent a little over 2 weeks together after that. He stayed in Montreal way longer than he was originally supposed to, then I went to Philly with him for a week. We didn’t want to part anymore after deciding we were going to be together for the long haul. Long distance sucks a lot.

Then my brother tried to elope in Vegas and my whole family crashed it. Not wanting to take away from their day we decided to keep our little announcement to ourselves for a while. Long enough to settle into life together a bit and start deciding what worked for us and what we were like 24/7 together. There have been ups and downs in going from long distance to living together. But in the end its so much happier a life that I haven’t looked back.

I think I’ve been gliding into the idea of marriage without really thinking about what that entails, the wedding part at least – I’m very ready for the married part (or as much as any person can be ahead of time). I was all like, we get married and have a party right? Easy.

Nope.

What will the wedding look like? When will it be? Where? What will we wear? Eat? Say? Who will we invite? Who will marry us? How will we pay for it?

The immigration processes that are going to follow this seems like a cake walk all of a sudden.

So far I think the only thing we’ve agreed on is the colours (turquoise, cream and grey) and theme (bikes and bowties). Turns out we have pretty different views on what we want out of that day. Quelle suprise. We often have differing views, and although that is usually awesome in this case it can be tense.

Does anyone have good strategies for not losing their minds while planning these things? How to make marriage budgets? Examples of nice, classy, (very) cheap weddings? Good websites to go for inspiration? Send them my way. I need all the help I can get.

read my rant-y blog and learn to tie a bowtie. At least you get something useful out of it

 

Seriously though, what am I going to wear?

I'm not even sure if this is the right colour of turquoise, and don't get me started on the cream and grey. Sigh.

all images stolen through google image search. Click on them to find their original location

my feeling about my bed/nest

Someone read my bed’s mind because this is a visual representation of what it tells me every day. It is seriously the most comfortable bed ever and its been nicknamed “the nest” for very good reasons. Just thought you should know.


home.

drinking a glass of wine and contemplating what it means to be home.

I just spent the weekend in the place I grew up. See pictures below. That town always brings up complicated things for me. I love seeing my mom, family, and the few friends I am still in contact with 10 years after high tailing it out of there. I love the mountains, and the friendly spirit and even the driving. I love how familiar the place still is despite its big new highways, big new malls and over the top lifestyle. It feels right in some ways, in the ways that no where else feels right, even though I know I will never choose to live there. It also taps into a deeply uncomfortable side of myself, the side that upon moving there at 12 years old, I already knew it wasn’t the place for me. I am torn by both the desire to be there and to get the hell out of there.

So now I’ve arrived back home, to my place, in the city I’ve actively worked on making my home for the past 4+ years. And I feel equally complicated. I know that partially its because I feel sad about having said goodbye to my brother after he lived with me for the past months so that he can go off to follow his own adventures that don’t include seeing each other every day. I also know that its part of a sadness of having left the city I grew up in and my family, knowing that I won’t see them again for a while. And while I adore this city that I live in, the one I call home. I wonder what it is that makes it home for me. Whenever I’m asked if I plan to stay in here, I have trouble answering that question. I sense within it a desire to hear where I will stay forever and I’ve never been able to say that with certainty, not even when I’m perfectly content and have no plans on leaving.

See a lot of places have been home.

I moved a lot with my family, from city to city and houses within those cities. I’ve also moved a lot on my own. If I were to tally the number of places I have lived, I would have to ask you what constitutes living in a place? A couple of weeks? One month? Three? A year? More than one year? How many years? I don’t know the answer to that question because I could give you numbers differently depending on your definition. My definition depends on the life situation I was in at the time.

I throw around the term home pretty easily. “Let’s go home”, I say, wherever I am to whomever I’m with. To me, its a place where I sleep, where I can relax, where meals are eaten or thought about, privacy is had (to some degree) and intimate moments are shared. That is a very flexible place in my mind. Even though I know that home means something much more deeply felt. To me, as well as generally. The city I grew up in is not the only city I’ve grown up in, its just the least complicated response I can give you. I would argue that I am still growing up in places, and probably always will be.

So now that I’ve arrived home. From a place I call home. I feel both soothed and unsettled. And am curious about the meaning of home I am creating.