Stationary Drifting


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On doing what you love

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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about what makes me happy and what I want to do with my life. This is not to say that I don’t always think about things like this (ahem, my yearly birthday meltdown). This process has just been a lot more productive lately.

I turned 30 this year which made me sit back a bit and think about what my next steps are. That coupled with my near constant job hunting (boo economy), and my decision that academia really isn’t for me (don’t get me started on ranting about my thesis), has set me on a track of trying to figure out how to have the life that I want. Part of my conclusion has been to stop “going with the flow” so much and start making intentional decisions about what to do next. Life may work out in its own way, and will whether I make plans or not, but I want to be a more active participant in what that looks like.

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Another source of this inspiration is that I’ve been reading a lot of blogs from people who are working for themselves in creative ways and making a living while doing what they love. I want to wake up every day excited about what I do and not going through the motions to get a pay cheque. Going through the motions is no kind of life. Life is short, people always say, but it can also be really long if you spend it sitting at a desk for hours a day not doing things that inspire you.

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So to that end I’ve been starting to do some research into things that I only ever considered to be hobbies before and figuring out how I can do those things as my life’s work. I’ve been trying to allow myself to imagine what it would be like to get to do those things all day every day, instead of trying to fit them in at the end of work days. Part of that is putting more intention into this blog and how I can do what I love and share it (which I also love). I don’t want to spill too many of the beans before I know what they all are. Suffice to say that I’ll be experimenting around with this space a bit for the next while. It may be a little scattered and the look will change often. I’m new at this and I’m doing a lot of behind the scenes research too. Hopefully I’ll be able to launch something exciting sometime this spring


enjoying small routines

I’ve really started to enjoy things like cleaning the house, cooking, grocery shopping, etc. I love the small routines of taking care of myself and my living environment. Something I would have been horrified at hearing myself say a couple of years ago. I realize that its helpful that I don’t work 9-5 mon/fri and so my time is flexible. Minus the fact that I live pretty frugally with such a small budget, I really appreciate my lifestyle and my ability to go grocery shopping, or do laundry in the middle of the day when I have the place to myself.

I’m also happy that I’ve found so much enjoyment of solitude. I never thought that being alone would be something I would like so much. I’ve always been a bit of an introvert, not much of one but enough to require some alone time to regenerate every day. I used to go a bit crazy if I spend too much time alone, and I still do a little bit, but my length of time that I can spend alone has gotten a lot longer. I’m not going to lie, I love hanging out with Marseau all of the time but sometimes I look forward to a quiet few hours alone in the house when he’s gone. When I get to cook, watch tv, knit, blog, etc without having to talk to anyone for hours. Its kind of glorious and so different for me.

With the exception of Marseau, who is different than all my other living situations, this is the first time I’ve ever lived on my own. I went from living with family to living with roommates and usually living with a lot of roommates. I always really enjoyed those times. How busy and unpredictable the house could be. I still love spontaneous hang outs and house parties but I also love going home to my house, where its clean and my fridge is stocked with food I like and know how to cook. I love the quiet of it. The simplicity and how good it feels to make a home mine.

Sometimes when I think back on who I am I’m shocked at how much I’ve changed. I don’t know what has spurred this. It feels like it came on really fast but I guess in some ways it was just a process of getting older. Its interesting to look at the routines I love so much these days and know that the old me would have thought that I was boring and a sell out to the lifestyle I used to be fully committed to. And maybe I am boring and a sell out but I’m happy this way, I find enjoyment in what I do just like I did then. And while its a lot quieter, a lot less outwardly political, a lot less punk rock I still feel like my fundamental beliefs are there. I just express them with different hobbies. I think I’m also a lot more physically healthy than I used to be.

I still hate doing laundry though….