Stationary Drifting


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On doing what you love

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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about what makes me happy and what I want to do with my life. This is not to say that I don’t always think about things like this (ahem, my yearly birthday meltdown). This process has just been a lot more productive lately.

I turned 30 this year which made me sit back a bit and think about what my next steps are. That coupled with my near constant job hunting (boo economy), and my decision that academia really isn’t for me (don’t get me started on ranting about my thesis), has set me on a track of trying to figure out how to have the life that I want. Part of my conclusion has been to stop “going with the flow” so much and start making intentional decisions about what to do next. Life may work out in its own way, and will whether I make plans or not, but I want to be a more active participant in what that looks like.

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Another source of this inspiration is that I’ve been reading a lot of blogs from people who are working for themselves in creative ways and making a living while doing what they love. I want to wake up every day excited about what I do and not going through the motions to get a pay cheque. Going through the motions is no kind of life. Life is short, people always say, but it can also be really long if you spend it sitting at a desk for hours a day not doing things that inspire you.

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So to that end I’ve been starting to do some research into things that I only ever considered to be hobbies before and figuring out how I can do those things as my life’s work. I’ve been trying to allow myself to imagine what it would be like to get to do those things all day every day, instead of trying to fit them in at the end of work days. Part of that is putting more intention into this blog and how I can do what I love and share it (which I also love). I don’t want to spill too many of the beans before I know what they all are. Suffice to say that I’ll be experimenting around with this space a bit for the next while. It may be a little scattered and the look will change often. I’m new at this and I’m doing a lot of behind the scenes research too. Hopefully I’ll be able to launch something exciting sometime this spring


Queer Pop

Man, I do not have enough words to say how lovely this event was. Lots of good people performed. PopMontreal and PucesPop were happening in the streets and in locations nearby. It was a beautiful late summer/early fall day. And I felt happy.

I was really nice to volunteer at a sweet event and get to meet all sorts of new people and reconnect with folks that I don’t see often or only see in party spaces. I joked that all our queer membership dues were called in for this event because so many of us were performing, dj’ing, volunteering and attending. But truthfully, it was just a fun event.

I’ll just leave it with some phone photos of the day. There are none of M performing because my phone couldn’t handle the dark when he performed.




/// Dj’s J’vlyn & Sam looking hot and spinning the latest from 7 years ago /// Classic sunny day in the Mile End /// Being artsy and honestly taking my favourite photo of a long time /// Neighbourhood flare /// Its not a queer event without massive amounts of bikes /// Pam being an excellent sound tech, organizer & babe /// Rae taking a break from organizing to do their thing on stage /// QueerPop love, aka entry stamp


Small Things Project: Day 63 (sept 24)

I’m happy for being busy even if its stressing me the hell out right now.

I’m happy that my birthday is coming up really soon and I’m looking forward to spoiling myself/being spoiled a bit. Its been a great and also tough year and I’m pumped to do some special things.

I’m happy for queer pop and queer community. I spent the day volunteering there yesterday and when I get the chance this week I’m going to blog about it.

For now I’m going to bed because I’m happier when I get enough sleep.


Small Things Project: Day 56 (sept 10)

It is COLD!
Okay , not really, it’s actually pretty reasonably temperatured out, but in comparison to this summer which was usually stupid dumb hot, i’ve been pretty damn chilly the past couple of days.
I am happy for getting to pile tons of blankets on the bed and cuddle down in them with some netflix.
I went to a cute community event yesterday at the Platz bar. A bunch of people were selling clothes and kids had a cupcake/lemonade stand set up, M was playing music, someone had tacos going. I bought a couple of interesting things, like this shirt, which is huge and makes me laugh.

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///instagram shot because my camera sucks and I don’t want to fool with all that///
I’m happy that M and I took a quiet day to sleep in and be together today. Not that we don’t have tons to do but it feels like our time together has a end date because I start my job in a few days. It doesn’t really but it will be much more limited than it is now.
We’re about to head out to meet my Aunt Margaret for dinner. I like it when she comes through town because she doesn’t want a lot of time but the time we have is always really nice, so I’m happy for that.


Small Things Project: Day 43 to 49

[warning: this post is a little disjointed because it happens over a 5 month span. There are no pictures and frankly I’m just posting it so I can start anew]

Day 43: (april 8)

Today I’m happy for my easter gift to myself, fancy new nail polish in spring colours, and M’s gift of lunch. And Sil’s gift of a few hours doing laundry by myself in her quiet apartment with her lovely and loving cat.

I’m happy that I came home to a tidied up apartment and dinner on the stove. My fiance is so great.

I’m happy for the grey, spring Sunday light that made everything feel in slow motion. I love slow motion sundays.

I’m happy that I got to sleep in, and that I took the weekend off from the gym but that I’m excited to get back to it tomorrow. Operation get healthy is still in effect. I was too hungover yesterday from Friday night to start my cleanse but I’m getting to it tomorrow. And I’m excited for that too.

Day 44: (april 9)

Today I’m happy that M & I got our health nut lifestyle on and went to the gym for a spinning class. I’m happy that we are really on the same page about this. We even worked out for another 45mins after spinning for an hour. The best part was when I was slowing down in class and sweating my life away and M looked over at me and told me that I could do it. Having a gym buddy is really great.

I’m happy that we got a bunch of good foods at the market and now, as I drink my cleanse tea (which is so far going great), M is preparing us a really good smelling lunch. I’m telling ya, spring is the time for resolutions. M is even quitting smoking!

Today I’m also very excited about my writing more for my brother’s magazine. Check out my Field of View post or the website to see more.

Day 45: (may 10)

Phew, a whole month went by, I don’t know what happened…But I’m back at it! So today I’m happy for not beating myself up about small things and for not giving up. I’m happy for allowing myself to enjoy my routines in their own time and to allow myself to prioritize as needed.

I’m still glowing from my long walk with Josie yesterday and for knocking a bunch of chores off my list of things to do. Today I’m happy for my coffee, the fact that I’m still working towards feeling healthier, and a full day of work ahead of me. I’m also really really grateful for all the great friends and family who have offered so many ways of helping with this wedding planning. I’m so lucky to have these amazing people in my life.

Day 45: (may 15)

Today I’m happy for all the love and support we enjoyed at last night’s fundraiser. I’m grateful to Mars for cooking up a storm and for everyone that came and ate soul food, enjoyed the beautiful evening with us and donated towards our marriage.

I’m happy for the quiet train ride to snooze and reflect. I’m excited to be in the states again an am looking forward to eating a cheesesteak!

I’m looking forward to being done traveling for the day and for getting shit done tomorrow.

Day 46: (aug 9)

Today I am happy to get back to my blog. Too long, WAY too long since my last post.

As much as I was annoyed have having to stay home and wait for the Internet guy today (it’s been out for 2days) I was happy to spend some time in the kitchen. It’s been such a hot summer and I’ve been so distracted that I haven’t really cooked in ages. I made bread (from this recipe), banana bread (from here), an extremely spicy fried rice and some extremely spicy spiced tea. M said I was a spicy lady today, which was probably my inadvertent desire to burn the exhaustion out of me (I suspect it’s due to germs). On a side note: I experienced my first chili on skin burn today and yow did it hurt. After trying a few Internet suggestions I finally succumbed to M’s suggestion and sat for almost an hour with my hand in a bowl of iced milk. It still stings under my thumb nail but its so much better than it was I’m not complaining. The burn set in just as the Internet guy arrived, I think he probably thought I was insane as I kept disappearing to the bathroom to wash my hands, and at one point cut a lime in half and took it to the bathroom (where I squeezed it on my hand).

I’m happy for the cooler day today. It’s been a really hot summer, consistently hovering at 30 so that only my heartiest plants (the chilies and the Mediterranean rosemary and lavender) are still doing okay. I’m sad for my lost strawberries just as they were strawb’ing. The cool-ish weather and rain today was most appreciated.

I’m happy that my grant proposal is written and ready to be sent, and that my summer internship is drawing to a close. I am once again redoubling my thesis efforts. I really want to be done before I’m 30 but would settle for before the end of 2012 if I must, either way that requires writing though so I’m going to be off to the library and other quiet places lots in the next weeks.

Day 47: (aug 10)

Today I am glad for rainy, cool, grey, quiet afternoons. I’m happy for some solid perspective in the form of a presentation by a fierce lady named Kim Pate about Prisoner Justice for women. I’m happy for a new blog to read (hey there the stork and the beanstalk, you’re very cute). I’m happy for some quiet dinner and reading and for the fact that M is throwing a really great party tonight for 2-qtpoc.

Day 48: (aug 11)

Today I’m happy for a successful and SO full Transformative Justice workshop. Everyone was so inspiring and awesome. We worked through some really heavy things and although we didn’t come to any definitive conclusions I certainly came away with a sense of community interest and support.

I’m happy for tea with a sweet friend post workshop where we talked about life stuff. I feel like I should have taken a different path and become a counselor….

I’m happy for a job interview at an interesting organization. I’ve been to SO many job interviews in the past while that I don’t have my hopes up but I was happy to have gotten a call back, I wasn’t expecting one.

I’m thankful for a quiet night at home. This week has been epic. To say the least.

Day 49: (aug 13)

Today I’m happy for it being the last day of work so I can focus on writing for the rest of the month.

I’m happy that my best buddy is home and available for hang outs again. It’s been a minute too long that he was away.

Mostly I’m proud of myself for mcguyvering the bathtub with a ton of baking soda, vinegar and a plunger and finally getting it to drain properly. It look me a while and spot a small amount of frustration but I didn’t break and go get drano, which makes me super happy! No harsh chemicals for me or M!!