Stationary Drifting


Small Things Project: Day 69 (oct 8)

Today is my brother’s birthday and damn am I ever happy he was born.

Jared has been my sibling, my buddy, my inspiration and, at times, my punching bag since he came home from the hospital one week after my 3rd birthday. We mostly got along as kids, we played a lot together. We had our moments of hating each other and fighting. But ever sin we’ve been older teenagers and now adults we’ve had so much fun together. We are scarily alike. I remember one of Jared’s girlfriends once telling me that it was weird to be around both of us because it felt like there was two of him in the room. Corrie always said she could tell when I was talking to my brother on the phone because I would be saying incomprehensible things and laughing until I cried. Him and I definitely have the same sense of humour.

We’ve gotten through a lot together. There were times in my life that Jared was the only constant. We’ve run our relationships by each other. We’ve travelled together, and lived together, and had many projects together. One day we’ll live in the same city and be able to hang out whenever we want. We keep talking about that and I hope one day we’ll make that happen for real.

So this SMP day is dedicated entirely to my youngest brother. Jared, I am so fucking happy you’re around. I wish I could have been there to celebrate your 27th but I’m pumped I got to celebrate your 26th with you and I’m hoping I get to be there for your 28 and beyond.


Small Things Project: Day 68 (oct 6)

Today I’m happy for a sleep in and a shopping trip with M. We had all sorts of plans to do laundry and clean the house but instead we blew it all off and went to box store zone.

I love my husband. He tries really hard to understand me and even though I appreciate that that’s not always easy, it makes me happy.


Small Things Project: Day 67 (oct 4)

I had a fair bit of energy today, yay getting decent amounts of sleep and eating. I don’t feel like I was hit by a truck today so I’m happy for that.

I’m NOT happy that its 8pm and I’m still at work because I was forced to do layout of a big pitch I’m preparing on word. Word sucks for anything that’s not pure text, and it took me all.day.long. Serious exercise in frustration. I AM happy that its done though, and as long as no one wants any serious additions to the text I can send if off and never ever do that again. I don’t care if I have to bring in my own computer, from now on all design is happening on adobe. Word can bite me.

I’m happy to be reading Rae Spoon‘s new book First Spring Grass Fire. I know I have a special affinity to it because Rae and I grew up in the same town, in the same neighbourhoods, around the same time. So the descriptive stuff makes me a tiny bit nostalgic. I also know Rae and am damn proud of them for their first book. But beyond all that I’m just happy about how beautiful and personal the book is and I think everyone should by a copy because Rae totally deserves it.

I’m also just happy to be reading a book and not staring at a computer all the time for my entertainment. Its sad how much books have fallen out of my life. I blame school. And my ipad…

I’m happy that M is feeling better and is going to join me at our buddy’s birthday party tonight. He’s had a tough go at the ol’ health this week and the fact that he’s on the up and up makes me happy. He was such a poor sickhead all week.

Speaking of M and the birthday party. I gotta run.


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Small Things Project: Day 66 (oct 3)

Today I’m happy that I got up early enough to have breakfast, make coffee and get to work on time. When I manage to do that I feel good about myself, like I’m handling my life well. The key factor in being about to do that was the fact that I managed a semi-reasonable bed time last night. Which also makes me feel good because, 1. I’m getting close to enough sleep & 2. I have some will power.

I’m also happy I managed to get 3 meals into myself today. One thing that really stuck out for me in my session with Sara was just how many meals I skip. I’m trying to take her advice to worry less about what I eat in this moment and more about making sure I do eat. She thinks it will help with my general lack of energy, I think that she’s probably right. So I’m happy that happened.

What else? I had another, really good thing to talk about but I lost it when I decided to click off the page and lost my whole post. Having to re-write it made me forget….

Let’s just say that I’m happy for a short meeting tonight so I could get home at a reasonable time. And for finding $20 on the street (which I kept because I didn’t see the person it came from). I also found a fancy samsung phone, which I didn’t keep because I have a smart phone too that that shit is back karma (& not many people can afford to replace those expensive devices off contract). I called a few people in the guy’s contacts and then he called me back on his own phone. He was so relieved that he tried to give me $$ for it, which I didn’t take (see above). I think he wanted to hug me but I was late for the aforementioned meeting so I told him not to worry about it. He told me I had great karma, which I’m hoping he’s right about. I could use some good karma in my life these days. I got plans that need some karmic love. Sooooooo, happy?


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Small Things Project: Day 65 (oct 2)

Oh MAN I’m tired. Mars is really really sick and I went to bed late, then he woke me up in the night, then I couldn’t get back to sleep, then I had to get up early and work late. Snoooooze. Its 10:30 but it feels like 3am. Working sucks for that.

The main thing that I’m happy for today I have to keep quiet about for the moment because I don’t know how it will turn out and I don’t want to put it out into the internet universe yet.

Instead I’ll say that I’m happy for my health coaching session I had with Sara Seinburg. It was her 1 year anniversary of her practice last month and she was giving away free sessions. I had one yesterday and it was really nice, and kind of emotional. I’m not sure why talking about myself honestly makes me feel teary but it does. Basically what Sara does is work through blocks identified by people from a physical health/nutrition perspective but also a mental health/nutrition perspective. I was really into in and really scared by it. I told her that I wanted to sign up with her but today I’m not so sure. I guess deciding to be accountable for making real change in my life is scary. I’m still not convinced I’m ready, AND I’m not convinced I have the money but I want to explore it. My goal for my 30ies is to be nicer to my body and to myself and this seems like a reasonable place to start. So I’m happy about that no matter what direction it goes.

I’m also honestly happy for my long term friendship with my buddy Mood. He met me downtown and kept me company at my work outreach social that I was too tired to be really social for. I like that guy a lot, I’m happy we’re friends. I know that that’s really cheese-y but its the truth. Hanging out with him makes me happy.

This video also makes me happy. I suggest watching it. 350 million + other people have.

 


Small Things Project: day 64 (Sept 25)

Today I am happy that my thesis advisor is so cool. I really just enjoy her company and passion and she always makes me feel like I’m capable of doing this, which is not an easy task at this point. One time she made me tear up because she went on a rant about how smart I am at a time that I was feeling really dumb. I really respect her and I’m trying not to feel too much pressure to live up to her expectations of me.

I’m also happy that my stress at work was significantly eased by a really good, realistic meeting today. Things still seem possible but the timeline has been somewhat adjusted to reflect reality, which makes me feel a helluva lot better about how this whole thing is going to roll out.

I’m happy for rad, intergenerational organizing groups too. I almost skipped out on a meeting I had tonight with a bunch of other prisoner justice groups here in Montreal but I sucked it up and went. I’m really happy I did because I learned A LOT, met a lot of cool people, and left feeling like Montreal has a much more solid PJ community than I ever imagined. I also signed up to get clearance at one of the local federal prisons so that myself and another person in my collective could go in and do some transformative justice workshops for another group that works with folks on the inside. I’m super pumped about that.

So I’m tired but I feel busy, which is good. Like I said a we a days ago, I need to do more with this life and I feel like I’m starting to start that not-exactly-simple goal.

I’m also really excited for my upcoming birthday, I have a package from my dad and Nancy waiting for me at the post office and I can’t wait to pick it up! I’ve been debating whether I want to wait until my actual birthday to open it and be an adult for once in my life, ooooorrrrr not. We’ll see how I feel once its in my grubby lil’ hands tomorrow…..

I have some posts lined up that just need some finishing touches before I post them but I’m too tired and its too late because I got home so late so they will have to wait until tomorrow. One is a picture of a hilarious outfit I’ve been rocking that I love, another is a photo/weekend round up on queer pop, i have to update on my simple goals and goal #3 this week, and I think there’s a couple brewing on crafting and my views on my gender presentation so hopefully I have some time to put those in queue this week. I’ve been really loving blogging these days (probably partially because its getting cooler and I’m better at projects in the non-summer), so to conclude, I’m happy about that too.


Small Things Project: Day 63 (sept 24)

I’m happy for being busy even if its stressing me the hell out right now.

I’m happy that my birthday is coming up really soon and I’m looking forward to spoiling myself/being spoiled a bit. Its been a great and also tough year and I’m pumped to do some special things.

I’m happy for queer pop and queer community. I spent the day volunteering there yesterday and when I get the chance this week I’m going to blog about it.

For now I’m going to bed because I’m happier when I get enough sleep.