Stationary Drifting

I’m tired

I’m such a night owl. Especially when I’m upset or stressed. Its like if I stay up really late then I’m hiding from the things that are bothering me. That I’m the only one in the world and time is standing still.

I hate falling asleep to the sun rising or the sound of traffic starting up again. It makes me feel like I failed at staving off the next day. It reminds me that time is pushing in on the safety of my bed and that I’m not only going to have to deal with what is coming very imminently but also that I am going to be extra exhausted and cranky while doing so.

I lose all will power when I’m tired. Like going back to bed in the middle of the afternoon is totally reasonable because I’m tired. Like being totally unproductive is fine because I’m tired. Which doesn’t help much because when the night rolls around I’ll be up the whole time again.

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